Saving You

XX

*Kevin warning*
Trigger warning for sexual assault, the beginning and end is marked with ***

P.o.v. Heidi:

       My parents started arguing with me about the food, but I felt like I had something in my stomach preventing me from putting anything inside it. My sisters and my brother brought me snacks. He knew I wasn't okay so he started spending more time at our house. He would sit and make me eat in front of him, but I would only eat a bit, I always feel like throwing up. Most of the times, I would only hide the snacks in the back of my closet.

       I didn't have it in me to meet Tina, but I knew I had to, eventually. Kevin demanded dates and get togethers with his friends. It wasn't that bad, until today. Today it was different. We were alone in the first aid room, Somsak and Aroon had just gone out and Niran's shift had already ended.

***

       He pressed me against one of the walls and kissed me forcefully. After everything that happened I can only feel the urge to throw up everytime we kiss. His lips are cracked and rough while Tina's are soft and gentle. I feel safe when I kiss her and scared when he kisses me against my own will.

       I felt his hand moving on his jeans and he took his penis out. I watched in horror as he started rubbing it with his hands, sometimes against my leg. I only wear trousers now when I go out with him, but it was still horrible. With his dirty filthy hand he grabbed one of mine, getting it close to him.

       - I… it hasn't been one week!

       - I said one week before I fuck you. How do you expect to prepare yourself if you don't do anything?

       - It's… it's only been two days! - I'm already crying. He touches my face and I want to throw up.

       - I'm not doing anything baby girl, help daddy cum, will you? - That's an offense to my own father.

       - I… Kevin, stop!

       - Shh. Just enjoy it.

       I close my eyes as he rubs himself with my hand. I try to think of anything else, anything but what's happening right now, but it's hard. It's loathsome, sickening, horrid even. I just want to punch him and run away but I feel like I'm stuck on the ground. My feet don't move and I stay completely still, just waiting for it to end. What was probably five minutes felt like five hours. His fluids got all over my shirt and pants. I just stayed there, crying with my eyes pressed close.

       - Go clean yourself.

       He threw me a towel but I didn't move. I was probably still shocked by what had just happened. I felt him moving my hands and pushing me to the bathroom. It was only when I got there that I felt my soul getting back to my body. I felt completely disgusted and completely disgusting. My hands didn't belong to me, I didn't want them to. With the towel and water I tried to get it off of me, but I didn't feel cleaner, I felt as dirty as before. When I got off, Malee was talking to Kevin. He was all over her, but she was trying to push him away.

***

       - Heidi, are you okay? - She asked me. I just shook my head no and ran out of there as quickly as I could.

       I took three baths when I got home. Even after that I still felt dirty. I didn't eat. I threw up everything I had eaten during the day, and it wasn't much. My sister Pretty found me crying in my room, she tried to get me to talk, but when she understood that I wouldn't, she just laid next to me and cuddled me all night. I felt better, but I didn't sleep. At that moment I understood that I really needed to talk to Tina. It would only get worse from there.