Saving You

XXVI

P.o.v. Tina:

       I was wrong. I was so wrong. It was actually good that she slept the whole ride because I had to leave the other girls at P'Chomp's house and I know what happened with Kevin was around that area so I wouldn't want her to revisit that memory as I know she already does quite often. I only woke her up when we were in front of my place, thinking that she would want to sleep right away, but she told me she was hungry, and it's fairly quite early to go to bed, especially for her.

       I was cooking Pad See Ew when she back hugged me, at first I was just shocked because I wasn't expecting it, but when she started touching my belly and her hands adventured too close to my chest I jumped and  almost burned us both. What the heck is she thinking? You just don't do that to someone who's cooking!? She didn't do anything else. Just stayed there hugging me and at some point went back to sit at the table. Ok? Weird. Calm down, Tina! Why is my heart beating so fast?

       For desert I just prepared a Khao Niao Mamuang. I thought I was safe considering that she was just sitting at the table, too invested in the game she was losing, but I was also wrong. I felt her hands caressing my ass and squeezing it, but I didn't hear her coming so I was so startled that I threw the knife I was using to cut the mangoes somewhere else in the kitchen, thankfully it didn't hit no living thing.

       - Heidi! You can't do that!

       - Why are you so on edge tonight? - She asked, side hugging me again. - I just need to move to startle you, you seem like you have something on your mind. - I saw her little smirk. - What is it? - She whispered against my ear.

       - I don't. It's nothing.

       - Don't lie. Remember I don't like it.

       - It's really nothing, or nothing bad at least. It's just that…

       - That…? - She says as she moves to back hug me instead and pulls my hips against hers. Gosh. - Go on.

       - …We haven't been alone in a while… The only time we slept in an empty house was the night we met. I thought… - I can't find the words to tell her what I was thinking. I'm embarrassed, but I think she's finding it funny. - I'm alert because you seem to… I was scared you would want to do… something else tonight. You have been really touchy lately.

       - Do you want to? - Her hands going from my hips to my thighs.

       - I don't want you to think that our relationship is only about sex. Whatever kind of relationship we have going on.

       - I don't think that. I would never think that. It doesn't make any sense.

       - I know. But… you have never been with anyone. I don't know if I want to be your first… - It hurt to say that.

       - Why? Do you think I'll be bad at it? - She distanced herself.

       - Heidi, I don't care about it, you could be horrible and I would still love every part of it. Everyone's bad on their first time, I know I was, so of course I wouldn't judge you for that. It's just that… our time is ending.

       - I don't want you to talk about that.

       - I know, but we can't ignore it. I have a month left! I want your first time to be important, memorable, not something that will bring you pain. I'm leaving in a month. I don't think I should be your first. It'll hurt you too much. It'll hurt us both.

       - Shouldn't I be the one to decide that?

       - It'll only bring us both more pain, Didi.