Saving You

XXXVIII

P.o.v. Nudee:

       I groggily move my arms and open up my eyes, waking up, probably because I must have forgotten to close my blinds yesterday's night, not that I remember much of it. I try to move myself but something is pulling me down to the bed. It's P’Chom’s arm. Ah, yeah, we slept together. She looks so cute holding me like that… so soft and huggable... Focus Nesa! You are sleeping with your friend and that's all you'll ever be. Why are you even starting to like her now? You knew that you were both going away, you knew that her heart already had someone else, why are you doing this to yourself?

       It's really hard not to like her though, not just from looks because this girl sure is pretty, but her whole personality and, I don't know, just the way she is. The way she takes care of me without even thinking twice, how we joke around and make fun of each other, the silly little things I wouldn't even phantom that someone would agree to do with me, but she does. She's... She's different. I think that's what pulls me to her, she's so irrationally captivating.

       Stop that, Nesa. You're taking this way too far. A friend. Do you know what a friend is? More than that, a sister. She is your sister. At least she considers you as one. This is wrong. I sigh and try to get away from her embrace, suddenly the arm around my waist seeming to weight a lot more than it actually does.

       - Nudee... - I hear the groggy voice just behind my ear. This is torture. - Don't go away just yet... - She held me tighter, burying her face more into me.

       - We have to get up. Your flight is in a few hours. - Yep, you're doing well Nesa, keep your shit together.

       - What time is it?

       - 7:38.

       - The alarm will go off at eight o'clock. We have twenty-two minutes to stay like this.

       - We shouldn't.

       - Am I making you uncomfortable? - She slowly took her arm off. She sounded so hurt I didn't have it in me to hurt her even more.

       - No. We can stay like this for a bit. Don't worry, I'm okay. - What is a bit of torture if I can hear the relieved sigh and the happy hum as she puts her arm around me again?

       - Good. This will be the last time we'll cuddle like this, at least here in Phuket. I'm happy that with... With everything... We can still be how we used to.

       - Sure. - It breaks my heart, but that's not a problem. I can handle it. It's not a big deal. - It's fine.

       She's happy. I can't ruin this. If she's happy, I am happy. The moment she feels me loosening up, because I was as stiff as a rock, she pulls me more to her. Her head finding its place on my shoulder, her nose in my hair as her breathing gives me goosebumps. This feels nice. We've done this a lot, every time I would go sleep with her and every time she would come to sleep with me. It's just slightly different now that my heart skips a bit with her every movement. But it's fine. I still like it. It's just sad that I can't get used to this...

       As soon as her alarm went off I jumped off the bed, accidentally hitting my foot on the mattress and falling to the ground. She got up in a second and went to help me even before my brain had the time to fully realise what had happened.

       - Are you okay, you silly?

       - I... Yeah, I'm good. - I was just trying to quickly get away from her embrace.

       - You just fell to the ground, what were you even thinking about? I'm not late, we don't have to worry. - She made a pause. - Or are you just that eager to get rid of me?