Saving You

XXX

P.o.v. Heidi:

       - Where are they?

       - I don't know, don't ask me!

       - It's way past the time we agreed on.

       - Do you think I should call them?

       - Try.

       We called P'Chompoo:

       - I live really far and have some things to do, do you mind if I just don't go?

       We called Nudee:

       - I just woke up and I'm not feeling well, I don't think I'll be able to go with you.

       We called Charlotte, nothing. We tried P'Fa:

       - I'm trying to wake Charlotte but she doesn't bulge, we'll have to agree on plans another day.

       We called Ma:

       - Patrick is leaving for work so I'm helping him prepare. Enjoy your movie.

       They all hung up so quickly we weren't even able to answer them. So... we're alone, just how it was supposed to be at the beginning if I didn't call everyone to join. I just realized that she wanted a date after the damage was done and then it would be too weird to cancel with everyone but now, now we'll be able to enjoy our day together, without any distractions.

       - I think they bailed on us.

       - I'm sure they did.

       - Do you want to go home?

       - What, why?

       - I thought... I thought you didn't want to spend the day alone with me...

       - I'm just slow! I didn't realise you wanted a date!

       - Oh. So... you want to stay?

       - Of course I want to stay! - I grab her hand and pull her a bit more to me. I'm so stupid for making her doubt herself...

       - Then let's go!

       I was dragged to the cinema where she didn't let me pay for anything. She kept quiet but I never felt alone, she kept feeding me popcorn, kissing my cheek, sniffing my neck, caressing my hair, touching my leg... it just felt right to be with her. We don't need to talk to understand each other and to understand what the other needs at any and every moment, it feels nice, unique. Sometimes I even believe that she knows me more than I know myself.

       I pick her hand and kiss it. I can feel that she's smiling. Her hand is soft and I love the feeling I get when my lips touch it, so I do it one more time. She looks at me inquisitively so I do it again. She treats me so well I just want to reciprocate her love a bit, even though I don't think I'll ever be able to. I just want to make her feel as loved as I feel, because yes, maybe I do love her.

       - Is everything okay? - She whispers. - You were kissing my hand but then you just started looking at me weirdly. - Okay. I was looking weirdly at her, good to know.

       - It's just... you just make me feel... I just love... love... being with you. - It almost got out. I almost told her that I love her. Am I even sure about that? Can I even question my feelings right now? She takes good care of me, but... is it really love? She's been with other people before, I'm easy to forget. She can just go back and find someone else, someone better, forget about me and I cannot. Some things will always be related to her. She's my first.... girl, not girlfriend yet, but does she really want me to be her last? That's a bit too much for someone who'll go away in less than a month, isn't it?