my lil' butterfly

Profailtanism

It hadn't been even 1 week since the death of his beloved 'sister'. Giyuu was a mess. He mostly locked himself in his estate and refused to talk to ANYBODY.

This growing fear in Giyuu continuously made him overthink. What fear would this be you may ask? His biggest fear, is losing his everyone dear to him. He was halfway through with it.

He had only maybe 3 people left and he didn't want to risk anybody else's death. So, he made the unhealthy decision to isolate himself to the max. Some people cared and others didn't. Those who did attempted to get Giyuu out and talk to him but every time it was a failed mission.

Shinobu, Kanroji, Tanjiro and Nezuko. Anyone you could name, attempted to help him from his depressed state. But each day, every minute that passed by he sunk deeper into his sadness. Every breath he took reminded him that he couldn't save her, he failed to save everyone. 

Every exhale brought him to tears. Why did he live? Why didn't he die. Three fucking times, why didn't he die? All he could think of was why wouldn't he die? Giyuu stood in front of his bathroom mirror. 

He was disgusted to what reflected, to the eyes he looked in too. He felt pathetic. Stupidly pathetic, He was a horrible excuse of human life and he hated himself every glance he took of himself. 

What used to be innocent eyes, eyes with a subtle blue glow are now dead. He washed his face in the sink and sighed heavily. One last glance at the mirror and rage engulfed within him. All he could do was punch the mirror repeatedly, over and over and over again. Nothing remained on the wall and shards stuck on his knuckles. 

"Fuck's sake.." He winced, he turned on the shower and relaxed his body once the warm water hit his body. Giyuu knew what path he was heading too. After all, it was the same path for Tsutako and Sabito. 

He was well-aware that it was unhealthy but something in him couldn't help but WANT to go back. What Giyuu didn't know was that having an unhealthy mindset was something he found comfort in. Every time something bad happened to him, that's the way he'd rely on. 

Of course its horrible. Nobody wants to be willingly depressed. But can you ever abandon something you find comfort in, on something you rely on? Even if it wasn't intentional. 

What more could Giyuu do to help himself? He didn't want to interact with anyone but what could he do? I suppose a drink or two wouldn't hurt, right? 

WRONG! It couldn't have been any more wrong. Giyuu slurped from his sake, with a couple empty bottles by his side. He turned all the built up sadness into anger. "FUCK! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO FUCKING LEAVE ME! ALL OF YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!" He yelled in between sobs. 

He wandered all around his estate, finding his way to his bathtub again, he turned the water on and laid back in the tub. He took another sip of his drink, "Im sorry..I love you guys..I didn't mean it." He whispered, and slid down. 

He didn't even remember to remove his clothing, all he could do was lay there and possibly drown. Would it be such a bad thing to want to reunite with his family? Anyone would understand, right? 

"Can I?" Is what repeated in his mind. His eyes were at the surface of the water, all it took was a couple more  inches for his head to be dunked in. So why didn't he? I mean it was simple and all it took was a couple more inches. 

Just a couple more...

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