Prolouge

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I sit there in absolute,pure unfiltered shock. The ringing in my ear is growing,becoming louder,drilling a hole unto my brain- soon it will pull out. Just like now-  I'm back into reality. The reality were I sit on this old grey couch that soaks you in once you sit in it,but heck it's not comfy at all anymore. The reality where,I'm sitting across from my grandmama- her thin face exaggerated by the twists of sadness plaguing her features. Her phone gripped tight by her wrinkled fingers.
"What did you just say?"I ask the tremor in my voice evident,her loose pink blouse becoming a blob in my vision,the tears waging victory over me. She doesn't answer me,hell,she's not even looking at me. My fist clench with anger,cheeks flame with fury at that name so clear on her phone screen.
How much longer must this man meddle in our lives?
How I hate him. I really do. He goes for years then comes back,expecting me to call him papa. He doesn't deserve any of that,he never has from the moment he walked out on me. He acts like he doesn't remember the hundreds of missed calls from my mama the day I was born. All in then out when it matters is his motto I think. "Grandmama?"I pled,and tears start to touch her face as well. As she continues to escape my sight,
Her white hair was just in a perfect bun,I'd done it myself actually. Combed and plucked each flaw so she could look even more gorgeous than she already is. We sat here in hopes that we could watch our favourite show together. Her favourite I'm just along for the ride. I don't mind,never have.
Then she got that call.
I watched her face pale when the other person on the line spoke. Then the line got cut,and she looked at me and said something that changes my life forever. "It's your father.."she said with her strong southern drawl,that I lost a bit of from being away for pong amounts of time. In university. I was just here for a happy little visit- now look, "He wants you to marry Aaron."
"No."I bark,after all this time,"I'm not marrying papa's spare son."I'll never not be proud of the nickname I gave that minion,
"Cyrus,he says he'll pay of our debt if you do."my breath hitches,I bite my lip until I think I taste blood. I hate how he sways his money in our faces,thinking it will fix all these years of abuse. Like we'll take the bait,
"We don't need his money."This is the third time I've said that simple sentence. I say it each time,and every time the debt is bigger than the last instance. I stand the same still,
"Cyrus."her voice is stiff and I watch her squeeze her eyes shut. Like she always does when she's about to lecture the living hell out me. "I can't let you keep living like this. Two jobs,struggling to pay off debt and not living your youth. Barely getting by,I mean you're practically picking pennies at this point!"as much as I want to yell and bite back,I can't. It stings. But it's true. I'm doing worse than I was before ever since this rent raise. It might get even worse when we try figuring out how I'll pay my tuition. Its only half because of my scholarships but we're still struggling. Imagine if it was all of it.
I don't care if I die by starvation,or the old pipes in my apartment finally manage to drown me. I am not taking that man's money or any of his requests. He can find someone else for his cover son to marry,
"Cyrus,please. I don't want to get older than I am watching you struggle like this-"
"Grandmama,do you think me giving myself away like some sort of sacrifice will fix this? All of this?"I can't help but raise my voice. How can she even be seriously asking to marry that thorn in my behind? When hell ices over maybe
"Cyrus please."the tear that falls from her eyes makes whatever insults I had die right on my tongue. Huh? Looks like hell finally iced over,because I budge.

I wrote all of this earlier in the month so I'm publishing it all today,hehe.



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