started as a lie

22

leah's pov.

(before the break up)

things were hard for me. i was getting a lot of hateful comments and messages telling me that i should never have proposed to sophia.

lots of people said horrible things about me as a person.

they said i wasn't good enough for sophia.

and for some reason i believed it.

i tried to stop reading the comments but i couldn't.

i began distancing myself from her. maybe i am not good enough for her. maybe she shouldnt be with me. she should have someone better.

what if all of this was a mistake?

"leah we need to talk" sophia said when she came in the room.

"okay" i said looking at her.

she explained to me how she was feeling and i listened to her. i felt extremely guilty for how i treated her but that is what led me to my next decision. she deserved better.

it was a decision i never wanted to make. a decision that pained me even to think about.

"then don't" i said.

"what" she said with tears in her eyes

"if you cant do it anymore then i'm not forcing you to stay" i shrugged.

"well it's nice to finally know how you feel" she said. the tears fell from her eyes.

she pulled the ring off her finger and put it down on the table in front of me.

"goodbye leah" she said and left.

as soon as the door closed, i broke down.

it's surprising how long i kept it together.

i heard her scrambling around her room and then she left. i listened to her car drive away, wanting nothing more than to run downstairs and stop her.

to take her in my arms and tell her that i didn't mean it. to tell her how much love i have for her. to kiss her soft lips and hold her tight to my chest. to tell her i never want her to leave. but i cant.

it's what's best for her.

she needs to find someone better than me. someone who can deal with things better than me. who doesn't run from their problems and push people away.

that night i went to bed without dinner.

i grabbed her ring and played with it, thinking of all the things that could have been.

we could have been happy. we could have started a family together. we could have grown old together.

i lay in her bed, smelling the sheets to get a sniff of her scent.

i cried and cried until i couldn't anymore.

i didn't sleep that night.

i may have made the biggest mistake of my life.

no.

it's what is best for her. i kept telling myself that but it still hurt.

she was the best thing in my life and now i've lost her.

the next day i went to training. my face was red and puffy. i hadn't slept all night and i had only eaten a single slice of toast.

i walked in and saw beth. i kept my head down, not wanting an interaction with anyone at this moment.

"leah" beth said quietly.

i looked at her and her eyes saddened.

"don't tell me.." she said just above a whisper.

"we broke up" i said, tears formed again.

she engulfed me in a tight hug and i cried into her shoulder.

"what happened leah" she asked softly.

"she told me i was treating her like shit. and i was. i told her to leave if that's how she felt" i said.

"she deserves so much better than me anyway" i said, wiping the tears.

"leah you were the only thing she ever wanted." beth told me.

definitely not helping there.

"she's the only think i ever wanted too" i said.

"then why leah" beth asked.

"i had to let her go. she needs to find someone better than me. i treated her like shit. i cant handle my problems properly. she needs someone who can" i said.

"leah get her back. you are literally made for each other" she urged. i shook my head.

"it's for the better. it's clearly not meant to be or this wouldn't have happened in the first place. what's meant to be will be" i said.

we went into training and i couldn't concentrate. i kept looking at sophia. her eyes were redder than mine. she kept her eyes away from me.

there was a tension between us that the girls definitely picked up on. they kept looking between us and whispering to each other

"yes we broke up" sophia exploded.

"can everyone just stop whispering about us and looking at us as if we can't see what your doing" she said loudly.

she stormed off the pitch and to the changing rooms.

lotte looked at me and then ran after her.

sophia's pov.

i took off my boots and slammed them onto my seat. i sat down and broke, again.

lotte wrapped her arms around me and let me cry into her.

"lots, why did she do this?" i said through sobs.

"sophia, leah looked shit. she looks like she's been in tears and she hasn't slept" lotte said.

"maybe you should speak to her" she suggested.

"beth told me to speak to her yesterday and then she broke up with me so clearly speaking to her will make things worse" i said.

"just try, how could things get worse?" she said. i shrugged.

the rest of the girls came back in and got their things and left.

only me, lotte and leah were left.

lotte looked at me and mouthed 'talk to her' and then left us alone.

"leah, can we talk" i asked.

she turned to me and nodded but never looked me in the eye.

"leah why did you say that?" i asked. she shrugged.

"please leah. we can make things work. i cant lose you" i begged, tears threatened to fall. she shook her head.

"no sophia" she said.

"i cant. i don't love you anymore" she said. my heart re shattered into a billion pieces.

"well then why have you been crying so much" i asked as tears streamed down my cheeks.

"please darling. don't make this harder than it already is. forget about me. find someone better. someone that can treat you right" she said.

"i'm sorry" she said. she put one hand at my cheek and wiped my tears.

she turned and walked out.

"please le" i whispered while sobbing.

i went out to lottes car and she drove us home.

"talking made things worse again" i said to lotte.

"she said she didn't love me anymore and i need to forget about her" i said.

"what did i do wrong lotte. what have i done to make her not love me anymore" i sobbed.

i spent the night crying again. i didnt get much sleep, possibly a few hours. no where near enough though.