started as a lie

26

leah's pov

i went to her house and went in. linda gave me her house key so i didn't disturb anyone else.

i went in and saw lotte sleeping on the sofa.

i went upstairs into sophia's room. everything looks exactly the same, apart from a picture of me and her on her bedside table.

i picked it up and looked at it. we looked so happy.

i changed into some of her clothes and got into her bed. it feels wrong that she's not laying next to me.

i breathed in her scent from her sheets and her clothes. i pulled teddy closer to me and hugged him tightly.

i only slept for a few hours. should be enough.

i got up and got in the shower. i came out and changed into some more of sophia's clothes. her favourite oversized hoodie and some leggings.

i went downstairs and ate breakfast quietly. i felt bad helping myself to things in their house so i just ate a slice of toast.

i picked up teddy, got back into my car and went back to the hospital.

i went back to sophia's room and saw her asleep again.

"how long has she slept?" i asked.

"she fell asleep maybe an hour ago" linda said. i nodded.

"how is she, what have the nurses said?" i asked.

"she's doing okay. she has to stay in for a few more days. they haven't done the stitches yet but they will today." she said.

"okay" i nodded.

"how are you leah. how did you sleep?" she asked.

"i'm alright, i slept a few hours. freshened up. i'm fine" i said.

"i'm going to head home for a bit, i'll send david soon. if you need me or david please call" she said. i nodded and she left.

i sat by sophia's bed and held her hand again. i played with the ring around my neck while she slept.

"what's that?" she asked, waking up.

"nothing" i said and put it under the hoodie.

"so, how did this happen?" i asked trying to change the subject.

"i heard someone in an alley so i went in. there were these two guys harassing some young lad. i told them to stop but they didn't listen. i pushed the guy off the kid and he stabbed me" i said.

"sophia" i sighed. she always put others before herself even if it meant she got hurt.

"can you tell me why you said what you said that day?" she asked.

"well, it's going to sound shit but yeah. i was basically going through a tough time. i was getting loads of hate saying stuff like you deserve better than me and that we don't suit and stuff like that. i have no idea why but i listened. i started distancing from you because i thought i was holding you back. i thought you could do better than me. so i told you to go. it's not because i stopped loving you, it's because i loved you too much. i still do. it pained me so much to let you leave that house. i wanted to run after you, to scream don't go. but i let you go. it's been my biggest regret. i let you go once, i cant let you go again. i need you back. i'm struggling bad without you. sophia please give me one more chance. i never want to leave you." i said.

"le. you really hurt me that day. i thought it was because of me. i thought i did something wrong to make you hate me. i tried to get over you, to forget about you. because you were over me. but i couldn't. i never stopped loving you. i could never hate you. you mean too much to me. but i cant forget this that easily. i want you back so bad, but i don't want to rush back into things. i'm scared it could happen again and i'll just break all over again. i want us to be slow. take our time. maybe the engagement was too soon. leah, i know for a fact that you are the one i want to marry. so why don't we just take our time, enjoy the moment. focus on the present instead of the future." she said.

"i agree. if you need time, i'll give you time. i want to improve. what do you think i could have done differently?" i asked.

"we need more communication. on the both part. talk about our problems. make time for each other. maybe regular date nights or something? but we need to talk things out" she suggested.

"yeah" i nodded.

"i brought you teddy" i said. i picked him up from the seat and gave him to her. she hugged him and sniffed the top of his head. she let out a smile while looking at me.

"what?" i asked with a slight laugh.

"you were cuddling teddy at home" she teased.

"no i wasn't" i defended. oh i most definitely was.

"you were, i can smell you on him" she said.

"come here" she said, patting a space on the bed.

"i cant" i shook my head. i don't want to hurt her.

"and why's that" she asked.

"because, i might mess up one of the machines or wires" i said.

"you won't, come here. i need to cuddle you" she said.

"please leah. i almost died, you need to do what i say. you know you want to. you'd do it if you love me" she said. got me there.

"fine" i said giving in.

i don't know if i'm technically allowed. the nurses didn't say anything though so i should be okay.

i climbed into bed next to her, leaving a small gap. i made sure not to pull on any wires or tubes.

"this is my favourite hoodie" she said. she put her head at my shoulder and her hand at my neck.

"oh i know" i said.

"cheeky sod" she laughed.

"i've missed this" she sighed.

she put her nose at my neck and breathed in my scent.

"me too" i agreed.

i put my hand at her hip.

"ahh" she half shouted. i quickly pulled my hand away.

"just joking, but don't put your hand there" she laughed.

"fia that isn't funny" i said.

"it was a bit. you should have seen your face" she laughed again.

"well where can i touch you then" i asked her.

she pulled the blanket away from her with a wince as she moved. she pulled up her shirt and there was a bandage around her waist.

"anywhere that's not here" she said, pointing to the bandaged area.

she pulled the blanket back over herself and grabbed my hand, putting it at her side. she moved it up slightly so it was away from the bandage.

my stomach rumbled slightly.

"did you not eat breakfast?" she asked.

"i did. i had toast" i said.

"leah one single slice of toast isn't breakfast" she said.

"sos mum" i joked.

"seriously leah. i sent you home to sleep and eat. did you at least get a good sleep" she said.

"yeah" i lied.

"really? how many hours" she asked.

"dunno maybe a few" i said in defeat.

"leah" she said very disappointedly.

"i'm sorry darling. i just can't sleep properly without you" i said.

"that's cute" she smiled.

her hand went to my neck again. she pulled at the little chain and saw the ring.

"leah you kept this?" she asked.

"yeah. i couldn't get rid of it. it means too much. and i knew that one day i'd give it back, if you'll take it" i said.

"i will, not now though" she agreed.

"sleep now baby. i've got you" she said.

she played with the ring on my neck and stroked my cheek until i fell asleep.