Red Looks Better On Liars- Schlatt X Quackity

34 ~ Oath

Tw: --> fucking check these jesus. no i don't think any of this is okay in any way shape or form, its just to really show how shitty he is

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The drive back was silent. Not even the car, it seemed, was making a noise. The rain turned into a sizzling static, beating down relentlessly. I hated how quiet it seemed. 

Sometimes I look in the rearview and pretend he's sleeping. He's asleep. He'll awake at any second.

I pulled over twice during that 5-minute drive. 

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The Whitehouse was really just the old courtroom, repurposed to be something new. I had been cleaning it out for about a day, I'd say. It was already relatively empty, so I just came in there with a vacuum and cleaned the place up. For about 10 hours I worked.  It took a while, but it was worth it. It was initially a part of the plan to have Alex help, but it just didn't work out properly. I didn't expect to get into a fight with him, and I especially didn't expect everything that happened afterwards to unfold. 

I unlock the door, and slide it open, being met with total emptiness. There's a mattress upstairs and a stash of alcohol right next to it. All a man could ever want or need. Cool air hits my face and I shutter. I forgot to turn on the furnace. I glance back to the car behind me, his body still lay in there. There was a list of things that needed to be done, but right now, I don't have the energy to do any. 

I shouldn't be upset. I'm not upset. It's just shock, that's all. I was planning on killing him anyway. That fire. But I didn't expect him to die like this. Whereas the fire had an alibi, there's no excuse for this. He's dead, and everyone will know for sure he's dead. There won't be hope in digging through the ash. There's no hope. 

I forcefully drag my eyes from the floor and back upward, sighing and shaking my head. Why am I upset? I'm not upset. My body moves before my mind, and I turn back around and walk my ass right outside. I narrow into his body and instead of sadness, I feel anger. He's gone. The one I love is gone. Clay is completely to blame. If he hadn't stolen my book, I'd be able to revive him.

I consider walking my ass down to their house and shooting both of them, but I'm sure that would be great for my reputation. I take a deep breath, narrowing my eyes again. I needed to be rational. My hand pinches the bridge of my nose and I grumble. 

I look back at his body and shutter. Nothing has changed. He's still-- asleep. He's asleep. 

I avoid eye contact (?) and collect his body from my car. It's cold. He's so fucking cold. I gag and shiver, eyes going anywhere but him. There's no way to trick myself into thinking he's asleep when I touch him. He's fucking dead. 

I take him into the house, only slightly warmer than the outside. I keep my coat on tight around me, bringing him toward the bathroom. His body lays limp in the bathtub and I just stare. My eyes water and I gag. I feel bile creeping up my neck again, the same feeling in the car whenever it first happened. This time, though, the bile came up. I turned to the toilet and vomited out everything I had. My eyes burn and my throat aches. I just keep puking. I had no problem dealing with Clay, but something about Alex just felt so. . . Real. My lover lay lifeless in a bathtub. Awful.

The last four gags have had nothing come up, but my body kept trying. I felt sick. My eyes watered so heavily, it looked like I was crying. I wasn't crying. I'm--not--I'm not--crying!

I break into a sob and hit the toilet with my fist. It's just shock. That's all. Not sadness. Who am I kidding, I love Alex. I love him more than anyone. Even Tubbo. Isn't that fucked up? My entire life feels like it's wrapped around Alex. I look at Alex with a sour look on my face. After this, he's leaving me for sure. I can't breathe without you. I need you.