Predestined - JENSOO - ENGLISH VERSION

Chapter 41

"I'm starting to get worried about you." Lisa sits next to me while I type frantically on the notebook.

"Why?" I say without looking away from the computer.

"Because it's been 2 months since you and Miyeon broke up, but you don't go out anymore, you don't have fun, you just know how to work and work."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Go out, have fun, kiss someone." Lisa says in a suggestive tone.

"Nah... I have no interest or desire to kiss any mouth, especially strangers."

"Where are your friends who flirted with you?"

"I don't do that anymore and everyone is just friends, no one flirts with anyone anymore." I shrug and go back to trying to focus on the material I need to finish.

"Wow... you really changed and grew up."

"Thanks." I feel that Lisa is still by my side. Out of the corner of my eye I notice that she is looking at her phone and I let out a sigh when I finishes my work. "I need more work, I can't leave my mind too free." I run my hands over my face.

"Why?" She locks the screen and looks at me curiously.

"Because it's been about a month since Jennie started disturbing my mind again and I can't take it anymore."

"Did Soojoo say something?" the Thai woman squints at me.

"No, no one needs to say anything to me because Jennie is on my mind all the time, I'm serious, Lili, I can't stand thinking about her anymore." I let out an irritated sigh "She hates me, why am I thinking about her? It doesn't make sense, I think I really like suffering."

"You are very agitated."

"It seems that after I broke up with Miyeon, my brain understood that there is nothing stopping me from thinking about Jennie, since then, I have had no peace."

"Serious?"

"It's been a year, Lisa, a year since we broke up. A year that she hates me and I doubt she remembers that I exist, she must just ignore my existence."

"You really fell in love." the sparkle in her eyes says she feels sorry for me and I look back at the laptop screen.

"I'm going to work out, I need to release this load of anxiety that is in my brain." I get up before Lisa says anything and go get ready to go to the gym.

After working out with a strength and motivation previously unknown to me. I had never worked out with as much dedication as I did today.

I go down the stairs slowly and take a deep breath as soon as I reach the street. Finally, I am less anxious and agitated.

What if I texted Jennie? What's the worst thing that could happen?

I mean, she might call me names, but that's nothing compared to everything she's ever said to me.

I need to at least try, right? No, I already have it, the only thing missing is the humiliation and if I don't try one last time, I won't have peace.

I need to do everything in my power to have a clear conscience. I'm a different person than I was a year ago, I've changed a lot.

She doesn't even need to come back and date me, I just want her to know that I'm a different person and I wanted her to forgive me, I can't die without having Jennie's forgiveness. I hope her number is still the same.

I look for a drawing about something I know she likes and send it to her. At least I'm not blocked, I think it's a sign.