Predestined - JENSOO - ENGLISH VERSION

Chapter 10

Jennie

Chichu: I'm hurting, Jen

🐻: Why?

Chichu: I'm drinking and listening to sad songs, really sad 

🐻: Again, why are you doing this?

Chichu: My crush doesn't notice me 😓

🐻: Who is your crush?

Chichu: Can I ask you something?

🐻: Jisoo, are you drunk?

Chichu: Yes, but I'm serious too

🐻: What do you want to ask me?

Chichu: Just dump me so I can deal with this and get over this, I can't take it anymore

🐻: What?

🐻: What are you talking about?

Chichu: You're my crush

Chichu: And I can't stand showing that I like you anymore

Chichu: But you don't seem to care or realize what's happening

Chichu: That's why I decided to speak clearly

Chichu: So you dump me, I get over it and we can move on

🐻: Jisoo... are you serious?

Chichu: I'm

Chichu: Like I've never been before

Chichu: I like you, Jennie, I like talking to you and you awaken feelings in me that I've never felt before

Chichu: This is driving me crazy

Chichu: I can't stand thinking about you anymore

Chichu: I can't stand hitting on you and you not caring or not noticing

Chichu: Seriously, Jen

🐻: I don't understand how you feel this way about me

🐻: I mean, why?

I drop the phone and sigh.

It doesn't make sense. Why does she like me? Or do she feel anything like that for me?

I also like talking to Jisoo daily, but I'm focused on college. My entire focus is on my career and becoming an excellent doctor, I can't have anything getting in the way or trying to divert my attention from that goal.

Besides, I'm not good at relationships, because I'm definitely not born for them. I don't have the patience or energy to get involved with someone. My last relationship didn't last long, due to a lack of effort on both sides, and I honestly don't think there is any relationship that is worth the effort.

And then there is the fact that anything on the internet is not something that lasts. I've never seen anything on the internet that is durable, it's all very liquid and fluid.

No, definitely, there's no way this is going to work.

I see that Jisoo is typing, but I answer her before she sends anything else.

🐻: This all happened very quickly.

🐻: Look, Jisoo, I'm not used to people being honest with me, especially when the subject involves feelings because I don't usually give space for that

🐻: So I think it's better for us to keep things on a friendly level, so you don't get hurt because my focus is on college and I don't want anything to divert me from that path.

🐻: My goal is my career, I'm sorry that I can't respond to your feelings.

Chichu: I told a friend about you and showed an excerpt from a conversation with you, and this friend said that I never spoke to her in the same way I speak to you, so I decided to compare some issues and I realized that she was right.

Chichu: I don't think it was quick because that wasn't what surprised me, what caught me by surprise was the level of intensity of everything which left me confused at first because I didn't know if it was something in my head or if there was some basis

Chichu: I try to be as sincere and clear as possible about what I want, what I think and what I feel, exactly so as not to cause confusion.

Chichu: I'm kind of an open book, so I have no problem being honest and talking about things like that with you, if you're interested in knowing and I just thought it was easier to give you reassurance, because if I wasn't honesty , I don't know another way and I'm sorry if you wanted another way

Chichu: You always caught my attention on the timeline and every time I saw your tweets, I kept thinking about what I could say to interact with you

Chichu: I even heard that song I hate for you

Chichu: But it's okay, I understand your points and I respect that, you are not obligated to reciprocate anyone's feelings.

Chichu: I just wanted you to be aware of my feelings because it makes it easier, I know what the limit is and how far I can go without continuing to feed it.

Chichu: Thanks, Jen.

I blink a few times, still staring at the phone screen and everything Jisoo just said. How can a drunk person expose themselves and talk so easily about what they feel?

Not in millions of years would I be able to be as resolved as Jisoo is proving to be.

But now that I dumped her, it means she's going to pull away until she disappears completely.

As I thought, nothing on the internet lasts. Tomorrow we won't be talking anymore and life goes on, although it's a little sad, because I had already gotten used to talking to her frequently, but now I'm going to feel like I have a hole, something missing in my routine because Jisoo will move away.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to organize my thoughts and assimilate everything that just happened.

I wasn't completely aware of what was happening, but I knew there was something, I mean, I thought it was weird that Jisoo praised me so much, but it always seemed so sincere and spontaneous that I didn't even worry.

I can't lie and say that I don't like it, I just find it very surprising because I'm not used to anyone like that. Anyone who approaches or shows even the slightest interest, I make it clear that I'm not interested and that's the end of it.

Usually, these issues are simple to resolve, but now with this confession from Jisoo, I'm feeling like it won't be like that.