Elusiva Tú

Ep.42 (Patiently Waiting)

"I just can't compare you with anything in this world
You're all I need to be with forevermore"

Grenade

Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Aly dito sa labas hoping and praying that Isabela will come back to us.

But.. how hard and elusive those words are. We're hoping and praying that she will come
back to us. Pero hindi na ata mangyayari yun.

I saw Calliope wiping her tears again walking slowly in our place. Matapos niyang bumalik ulit sa loob ng emergency department dahil tinawag siya ng isang staff. Heto siya ngayon, papunta sa gawi namin. Sobbing and suppressing herself para hindi siya bumulahaw ng iyak.

I don't like it. I really don't like it. Ayokong marinig ang sasabihin niya tungkol kay Isabela. Hindi pa na process sa utak ko ang nangyari sa kanya. Mas lalong hindi matanggap ng utak ko ang sasabihin ni Calliope kung ano man 'yon.

Sana wala. Sana nga ay wala. Hindi pa ako handa. Hindi ko pa kaya. Hindi ko pa kayang makita siyang nakahiga doon sa..basta ayaw ko.

Ang lapit lang ng emergency department sa amin ni Aly pero gusto kong wag muna siyang makarating sa pwesto namin para sa balitang ayaw ko o naming marinig. Ayaw ko. Basta ayaw ko.

I heard Alyssa bursting in crying. Why? Why is she crying? Calliope is crying? Why? They revived Isabela, right? Of course she was.

"G-Gre. An- Ano. Ano kasi wag kayong mabibigla." Calliope trying to compose words while suppressing her tears.

We witnessed how she covered her mouth while composing and spitting words.

"Isabela is d—. She exhaled deeply and wiped her tears.Her voice cracked."She's dead, Gre." She's not looking at me. She's looking at the floor. Then tumabi kay Aly.

Dead

She is dead.

Dead

Dead

Isabela is dead, Gre.

It's ringing on my ears and head. Again and again. I know the meaning but I don't want to understand.

Baka kasi pag inintindi ko. Mababaliw akong tuluyan.

Wait..

Wait. Wait.. Wait! She must be kidding. That name perhaps is the other patient. Not our Isabela. That's not Isabela. Not my Isabela.

Napaatras pa ako sa wall ng bigla kung na-realized ang gustong sabihin ni Calliope kanina. Eh di ba doktor siya. Bakit hindi niya naisalba ang buhay ni Isabela. May kulang ba sa kagamitan ng hospital na 'to. We are one of the famous institutions here in this nation. The last time I checked our equipment here was new. Developed countries' style. It's modern. All the technology is modern and updated.So why can't they revive my wife. Why?!!

I can't help it but once I absorbed what Calliope told us about Isabela. I let my back slide on the wall and sit on the cold floor. I can feel the coldness of the wall and floor. It makes my whole system numb hindi dahil sa lamig ng pader at tiles. Namanhid ako dahil sa balitang hindi kayang i-absorbed ng buong katawan ko.

Ayaw ko. I'm not ready yet.

There's no tears coming from my eyes whilst Alyssa is still bursting crying and staring into nothing.

Walang gusto pumasok doon sa loob. Ayaw ko. Ayaw ko siyang mahawakan na malamig na. Walang buhay. Hindi na humihinga. Nakabalot sa puting tela.

Di ba ganun yun? Tama. I will stay here baka sakaling bumalik ulit ang pulso niya. Baka tawagin ulit si Calliope ng isang staff tulad kanina. Tama. Ganun nga.