Maple Heights Private Academy- Natasha Romanoff x female reader.

Chapter 30 - Game day - Part 1

Every single time I type out the words 'I can't do this' my eyes lock with her name displayed on the top of my screen and I delete it, knowing I can't let her down.

I am going back out into the world, the world I promised myself to steer clear from to protect myself. I couldn't figure out why, why I would do this, why would I risk everything I have already re-built...then it clicked the other night when I was talking to Carol, it's because of her. It's for her.

My cheer outfit is hung beside me haunting me, taunting me, dragging me back into the spotlight I tried so hard to remove myself from. My whole body is screaming at me to run, to hide just to do anything to get me out of this situation but I stay, unable to move.

I want to run.

Before I came to Maple Heights I was so certain, I knew who I was, what I was to be and who I was meant to be with...it was easy, simple, text book even. Head girl dating the Quarterback, Cheerleader Captain, top grades, the perfect family, always having the latest trends with money being no object, throwing parties that everyone who was someone would die to be seen at. Sounds so cliche.

Now? Now look at me. I'm sat secretly writing in my diary on my bathroom floor to hide away from my beloved Quarterback boyfriend so he doesn't try to make a move on me before he leaves because even the physical thought of it makes me feel...sad? sick? disappointed? disgusted.
It makes me feel disgusting.

And then there's her. She's the reason, she's the one who dragged me back into this world, the world of being a Cheerleader and the parties, the one that kissed me and destroyed everything I thought I knew. The one I steal moments with, the one whose lips feel like floating on cloud 9.
She makes the world a little less scary without doing a single thing. The castle I built she came smashing into, sending it flying into a million pieces.

The world before was simple, the new one I created wasn't enough but the world I'm in now; it's messy, unpredictable and damn exciting all because of her. She flipped my world upside down and now I don't know if  I want to go back.

The lies I've told, the secrets I've kept, the people we could possibly hurt. It's for us, our secret moments, the silent kisses and delicate touches they are ours. It doesn't make sense, none of it does but it doesn't matter if it feels right to us... does it feel right?

Quietly tapping my pen under the last question, staring at it waiting for the answers to fly out of the page a deep voice echoes through the bathroom door, "Babe, are you nearly ready?" I clench my eyes shut, leaning my head back on the cold tiles taking a deep breath before I respond.

"Yep, I'll be out in a second!"

I clumber to my feet, hiding my book with my female products cause I know Steve will never look in there. I turn to face the hanging uniform. "I guess it's time." I whisper to myself before reaching up to grab the hanger.

____________________

Glancing at myself in the mirror I take in the view infront of me. The Black and red uniform clings to my body, 'Maple Heights' spilled across the front in deep red writing. Slowly I slide my hands down my sides and breath in a little before I fold my arms over my exposed stomach, my hair in a high pony with curls coming from the Black bobble down my back.