Chapter 20 - Choices

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AN: Things are going to get real messy in the next few chapters and all I can say is sorry.
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It's Friday already, Steve and his family have officially moved here today and I'm seeing him after school once he's settled. He was so excited to tell me when he face timed me Monday evening, he was even more excited when I informed him that TJ is throwing him a welcome party on Saturday.

Since the moment Natasha and I found out about Steve coming on Monday we have been stealing moments, every lunch sat next to each other our hands clasped together before they are inevitably torn apart, secret moments when she pulls me to the side and kisses me or finds a reason to whisper to me so she can plant a quiet peck on my cheek.
It's going to be weird not having her right there next to me, I don't fully know what we are and I'm never going to find out what we could have been.
Tonight after school before Steve turns up I'm doing it *I freeze for a second, twiddling the pen inbetween my fingers.* I'm ending it. I'm shutting things down with Natasha, Steve doesn't deserve this neither does she. The answers I've been searching for never seem to come, so it's time to make a decision I just hope I'm making the right one...

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Y/N POV:-

The morning flies by faster than i'd like, as usual at dinner Natasha and I are sat together our hands entwined below the table. Unable to stop this sickening feeling in my stomach after what I decided this morning, I just hold on enjoying every moment I can with her. My chest aches at every laugh or smile, anytime she tightens her grip on my hand so I know she is there, each time her perfume hits me I close my eyes trying to focus.

She leans in to me and whispers in my ear, "You ok? You're being quieter than usual."

I lightly nod squeezing her hand in mine, locking our eyes together not trusting my voice.

"Hmm, ok." She searches my eyes for a second before Maria shouts her name stealing her attention.

A fake smile creeps on my lips as I pretend to listen, my eyes slowly wonder under the table watching our hands locked together her thumb rubbing softly on mine, they fit so perfectly together. How can it feel so right yet be so wrong?

After dinner Wanda and I make our way to our next class, our arms hooked together as I just listen to her chat away occasionally throwing remarks in here and there.
My name echos down the hallway making us and the rest of the students turn to the noise.

"I think someone wants your attention" Wanda teases smiling as Natasha approaches through the crowd of people.

Her smile is big "Wands, do you mind if I -" she nods towards me. Wanda is the only person that seems to know that something is going on between Natasha and I, which makes things a lot easier, she's had to cover for me a few times when I've turned up late to class or we're just sneaking a private conversation and she has to play decoy so Val or TJ don't interrupt.

Unclasping our arms, placing her hand up to stop the red head continuing "Say less" she winks at me as she wonders down the hall alone.

A full smile breaks out as she nods to the side "Come on" guiding me into the closest bathroom, she quickly checks all the stalls are closed and locks the main door as I watch her smiling at her rushed actions.

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