Disney Cartoons reacts to Red Vs Blue: the Blood Gulch Chronicles

Dealer Incentive

Tucker and Caboose have Donut surrounded inside the blue base.

Tucker: So, they send a female assassin to try and kill us. Clever, but it won't work. We're immune to your feminine wiles. ...Unless you wanna date one of us.

"Tch! Like anyone is willing to date you." Sasha snorted.

Donut: Female?! I'm not a girl.

Tucker: Tease.

"Looks like now they know that Donut is boy and not a girl." Anne said.

Donut: I just have light red armor.

Caboose: How is that pink armor anyway? Looks comfortable.

Donut: At first, I really hated it. But it's kinda grown on me. My old armor used to chafe my thighs somethin' awful, but the crotch in this pink one is surprisingly roomy!

"Gahh!! TMI!" Anne gagged. "Gross!!" Molly yells. "I didn't need to know that!" Star yells. "I don't think anyone wanted to know." Dipper said.

Tucker: Silence, woman!

Cut to Sarge addressing Simmons and Grif.

Sarge: Good Buddha's noodle, how could this have happened?

Simmons: It's okay sir. It was a strong plan. Grif's just a dumbass.

Grif: Hey, I'm using your cerebral cortex.

"Ummmm.... Burn?" Anne said in unsureness. "That is a weird way to insult someone and the crazy part is that we get what he is talking about." Marcy said.

Sarge: Settle down, ladies. We need a new strategem, and we need it fast.

Simmons: Donut's sure to crack under the pressure and reveal everything.

"What exactly would he even tell them?" Marco asks. "O'Malley." Dipper said. "Like he's gonna tell anyone that now." Sasha said. "It's sad that it's kinda true." Dipper said.

Grif: Everything like what? Where we keep his tampons?

Sarge: You're right about that, Simmons. The boy doesn't even see the entertainment value in being tortured! Oh these kids today!

Entertainment in being tortured?" Everyone said In disbelief. "I get being the one to torture someone but being tortured?" Star said. "Unless that person enjoys being tortured." Luz said. "Who would like that?" Sprig asks. "I don't know. Someone?" Luz said with a shrug.

Church enters the blue base with Tucker waiting for him.

Church: How's it goin', Tucker? We get any useful information outta the prisoner yet?

Tucker: I figured he was here to steal back Lopez, but he won't give us anything. Except a list of crock pot recipes. Would that be useful?

"Depends on the recipes." Mabel said.

Church: Do we have a crock pot?

Tucker: No, Caboose made a trade with that annoying guy from Blue Command. He swapped it for a mystery box.

"So much for the recipes." Mabel said. "Why a mystery box?" Amity asks. "Some people like the surprise that's in a box." Luz answers. "So what was in the box?" Anne asks.

Church: What was in the mystery box?

Tucker: A hundred and forty jars of mayonnaise.

"Wow, that is one terrible deal." Anne says.