Aftermath, Before Biology

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Camera turns toward the sun, and then pans to the cave in which Doc is located. Vic of Blue Command talks in a static voice.

Vic: Hello, dude, come in. Doctor dude, are you there? Hello. Paging doctor dude to the radio, stat! I need twenty CCs of what the hell's going on there dude.

"Oh we're already back to Doc." Luz said. "I still can't believe that he's still at the canyon." Polly said. "Hopefully he will tell us why." Dipper said.

Doc walks out from behind a rock in the cave, groaning.

Doc: Ugh. What happened?

Vic: Hey, you tell me dude. One minute we're talking about a hole in the wall, the next thing I know you turn into Grumps McGurt. Sounded like you needed a lozenge. Threatened to eat my children. Not very cool, dude.

"Boy, O'Malley really doesn't know how to hide well." Marco said. "Yeah, although I think we should be glad that he didn't go to the computers of command." Marcy said. "He would've caused a lot of chaos for blue command." Star said.

Doc: Geez, did I really? I'm sorry, something went wrong with my radio, and I heard this weird beeping, honking-

Vic: Hey, no offense taken, dude. Don't got any kids anyway.

Doc: What?

Vic: Old Vic's been through the snip and stitch.

"The what?" Molly said in confusion. "He's saying that he had surgery to not have kids." Sasha Sasha told her. "Oh.... Wait, how?" "Uhhhhh...... Ask your parents?" Sasha told her.

Doc: I don't-

Vic: If you know what I mean.

Doc: I don't wanna hear about that.

Vic: Winky-Blinky the one eyed Sergeant's firing blanks.

Doc: That's weird.

Vic: If you get me.

Doc: Look-

Vic: Vaya Con Dios of the Vas Deferens.

Doc: Yeah alright, I, enough, I get you.

Vic: I mean a vasectomy, dude.

Doc: Look, I found something really weird here at Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha.

"Weird?" Dipper said in wonder.

Vic: Roger that. What did you find?

Doc: It's... it's like a... it's like a thing.

"......I'm..... gonna need more." Dipper said unamused about the lack of proper info.

Vic: It's like a thing. Okay, dude. Thank you for the update. I'll be sure to alert the Chief of Staff...

Doc: Sorry...

Vic: Move to Defcon 1.

"DEFCON 1!?! Oh the humanity!" Luz jokingly said.

Doc: I'm just a little dazed. It's a big thing. It-it's purple. It's uh, it's a big purple thing.

Vic: Use your words, dude.

Doc: Look, I don't know. It looks like some kinda alien artifact. Do the aliens have like a home base or something here?

"Alien? Oh that could be bad." Dipper said. "Has anything alien like ever been good?" Anne asked. "ET..... Alf...." Mabel listed. "That's.... Not a lot." Anne said.

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