The Nesting Theory

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Fade in to Grif and Simmons looking straight down

Grif: Yep, that's a hole alright.

"No kidding." Mabel says.

Simmons: That's what I told you!

Grif: Huh. And Sarge's body is gone.

Simmons: Right. I think it fell through that hole in to the cavern.

Grif: Maybe he just disappeared. Dead things do that when you bury 'em. That's part of the circle of life, you know. It's a miracle when you think about it. No reason to go randomly exploring caves which may or may not contain hundreds of evil bats, that would just be interfering with God's divine plan.

"That is a very poor excuse of not wanting to go down there." Sasha deadpans. "Also he's not dead, so the circle of life isn't involved with that." Scratch says.

Simmons: Okay, A, Sarge wasn't dead; B, decomposing takes months, not minutes; C, his armour would still be here; and D, shut up, you're going down there. Now.

"Yeah, his body wouldn't be gone after a few hours." Marcy says.

Grif: Why? What do we really need Sarge for anyway? All he ever did was yell at us a bunch and tell us we suck, we'll just split up his duties. You yell at me and I'll tell you you suck.

"He's got a point." Luz chuckled.

Simmons: Shut up and get in the hole Grif!

Grif: You suck, Simmons. Hoho man, this new system's already workin' out great! We should have thought of this years ago.

Simmons: Grif, don't you understand that because we lost Sister, we're horribly outnumbered. We already lost Donut and Sarge, now it's four on two. The Blues are probably gearing up for an enormous attack right now. At any moment they're gonna come over that hill, guns blazing yelling "CHAAAARGE!"

Cut to the battleground that suddenly surrounds the Blues as Tex ruthlessly shoots at them

Everyone goes all white eyed in surprise after that explosion.

Church: RETREAT!!!

"Well, ..... Guns are certainly blazing." Marco says with a sweatdrop. "I'm gonna guess Tex did not like the fact that there's a new girl in the team." Anne chuckles.

Tucker: Aaaaaaahhhh!

Caboose: Running, running, running, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.

Sister: Who is that?

Tucker: That's Tex.

Sister: Whoah, he's a badass.

Caboose: (hit) Ow.

Sister: He's kinda hot.

The Blues take cover behind their base

Tucker/Dipper: Tex isn't a guy, she's a girl.

Sister: Oh, sorry. She's a badass. She's kinda hot!

Tucker: She's actually Church's ex-girlfriend.

Sister: Oh yeah? Why aren't you guys dating any more?

"What kind of question is that right now?!" Sasha asks in disbelief.

Church: Are you seriously asking that question right now?

Caboose: Last time I was shot, I got a Purple Heart. Yeah uh I hope this time, I get a Purple Lung. You see eventually I, I hope to build an entire purple person. And we will be best friends.

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