Disney Cartoons reacts to Red Vs Blue: the Blood Gulch Chronicles

Silver Linings

Fade in to the bomb, counting down the last few seconds to 2:00

"Looks like there's only two minutes left." Anne said.

Grif: Howh, just two minutes left.

Sarge: Men, I don't want this to sound pessimistic, but I'm absolutely certain we're all gonna die!

Simmons: I think that that's a totally objective assessment of the situation, sir.

Tucker: (hitting the window shutters with the ultimate weapon) What if we just beat on these window shutters together? We can get 'em open.

"Those things aren't lock!?" Dipper said in surprise. "The aliens really hired a bad architect." Marcy said. "Although then they wouldn't have a way to escape." Luz said. "That is a good point." Marcy said.

Sarge: No, that would be the coward's way out. Fruitlessly trying to escape instead of accepting your own fate!

"Dang it! He's right." Polly said. ".....No." Dipper said in disbelief.

Tucker: (jumping up in the now open window) But I can see daylight!

"Just ignore him and run!" Sasha yells. "He's not." Star says. "I know...." Sasha says.

Sarge: It's true. Only a miracle can save us now.

Cut to the computer with Church

"Well there's your..... miracle." Star said.

Computer: teleporter complete. slightly behind schedule.

Church: (with a white beard all the way to Tibet)

"Why does he have a beard?" Molly asks In confusion. "Yeah, isn't he a ghost in a robots body?" Mabel adds. "I think it's just a joke for the sake of showing how long he's been waiting." Luz said. "Ahhhh." Molly and Mable both said.

Church: You know, it might have gone a bit faster if you hadn't spent so much processor time telling knock-knock jokes.

Computer: knock knock.

Church: Enough. Do you have the coordinates to send me to Blood Gulch or not?

Computer: yes. do you have a plan yet?

Church: I've been standing in this hallway thinking for a thousand years. I've had time.

"That must've a very boring thousands of years of waiting." Polly said. "Good thing he had company." Mabel said. "One filled with knock knock jokes." Scratch said.

Computer: and?

Church: Well, the main thing I need to do, is keep myself from dying.

Computer: (with a glaring typo) that's a given.

"Ouch! That is a horrible typo." Marcy said with a flinch.

Church: And since all our problems stem from O'Malley jumpin' from Tex to Caboose, all I need to do is prevent her from dying too.

Computer: because you secretly love her.

"Secretly!?" Everyone gawked in disbelief.

Church: Oh don't start that again. All I need to do is kill that pink guy that sticks the grenade on her.

Computer: sounds easy.

"It should.... It really should." Sasha said. "But we all know that it's not gonna be easy." Marco said. "Yep."