So this...
this is what I'm scared of
Vulnerability
This is what makes me weak
Being open for injury
In forms of being loved
And understood
In ways of being cherished
And cared for
A thought that makes me
Think that 'to feel' was okay
Sadness and loneliness existed once again;
To yearn for support, To cry tears,
And let myself feel the agony of goodbyes
To be vulnerable...
This is what makes me feel being frail was fine
To finally realize that I'm no longer alone
That I don't have to be in this fight alone
That I do not have to build such walls to protect me anymore
To believe there'll be no more wars
And thunderstorms
But if there ever was,
I no longer have to face it all on my own
It made me finally hope for a better tomorrow
To look look forward to seeing the beauty that there is
To find a reason to love, and to just live
At last, let myself have a family and a friend
Someone to genuinely care and tend for my needs
To finally, have someone to have
To realize that I have a shoulder to cry on
To finally feel that it's okay to tell what part of me hurts
To cry while telling what this world did to me
To finally have someone to listen in my every woes
To be so calm and close to rest on someone's chest
To be able to listen to life as their heart beats
And to look forward on my own
As both hearts ties the same rhythm
This is what I'm scared of
To be no longer scared and be more like at ease
To trust the idea of calmness that was presented before me
To be told and be convinced in the idea of loving and being loved
To lower my guards
When was told that there was a paradise
To make me believe
That such place has no trace of pain nor suffering
To finally for once,
Be hugged and patted in the back
As these walls be forced down
To here that there was no more battle
To finally rely to the truth of this universe
That there was an end for all suffering
All feelings of grief, torment, and agony
To give myself a chance to live, not just survive
To not fear the world that was introduced
and I have never gotten used to
Cause for the first time,
I do not have to be strong
Just weak and loved.
____________________
Writer's Note:
When did care became so called a dream
that when it finally came, I did not believe it?
