I just had a dream
Where I got everything I wanted
It was all picture-perfect on the outside
I should be glad, I mean, I must
They got rid of all the cracks
The mess, the signs, the evidences
Everything was too perfect
A laugh escaped, I can't believe it
There was a parade
Parties were all over the place
And we are all there to celebrate
Even danced and sung
"Cheers", she even said
I heard loud and happy noises
'I love yous' were all over the place
I heard proud praises
Everything I never got
And never get to hear
Everything I used to just watch
Filled with void and full of envy
It was all here
In this dream
That's when I knew
It wasn't real
Finally, no one was crying
Neither was genuinely smiling
It erased painful memories
Like they didn't exist
That's when I knew
It was a fraud
My mother was finally proud of me
I received praises
I was seen and recognized
I don't have to hide
I was chosen
I was finally someone they would find
There were no almosts
I got them all
The chances, the wishes,
Fulfilled all promises
He came and never died
There were no storms and the sun shined
I made it in time
With no regrets and no tears felt
In this sleep, I received love
I thought I would never get
It was all happy
and it made me feel like things never had to end
But fate is too cruel to give me this one time
One chance to finally have what I never had
My only shot to regain all that I lost
Too nice, Too kind
But too evil to be too late
The seraphs knew it was heaven for me
But they can't change my fate
And now they're here to deceive me
They gave me a taste
Before the clocks ticks
Paradise with a deadline
Leaving me as they all flee
And if I wasn't a fool
I was left with pain
A blessing or a curse
To remind me what I was forced to forget
Again and again
I knew it was a nightmare
And not a dream
Because I woke up crying
A life that my consciousness did steal
It made me wish for death
And an endless unconsciousness
Where I do not have to leave
Where in my sleep, I'll forever live
And even in that short time
I lost them all again
In that brief moment
I never had it again
The regrets and goodbyes
It left me hanging as I cry
The love that was finally mine
It took one morning to brush off what I finally had
If I knew it would hurt this much,
I wish I had just never woken up
Yes, it'll all be fake, A whole orchestrated fraud
But I'd live there happily and in no pain
I guess that'll be enough
06-09-24
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Writer's note:
Reality hurts, kaya sleep well.
