Redemption - Konig x Reader

twenty seven

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Death.

The idea seemed to fill me. My mortality, a fragile dance between the lines of life and then that inevitable spot in a grave. I had never thought about it much before, it wasn't anything i wanted to have on my mind. Now though, it was simply haunting, a never ending thought. It plagued me.

After that day, i was changed. If it wasn't my initial turmoil, the kidnapping, that could affect me, it was that afternoon that would. The man i knew and thought i understood, taking lives like a macabre routine, an action only he could perfect.

It was like he changed, flipped a switch and became a machine. A man only capable of destruction. It wasn't the big savior that carried me out of a kidnapping, or the gentle man i met at the side of a hospital bed- a monster.

I hated myself for thinking it. He wasn't, but he was. For some reason i had separated him from his job, ignoring what he did. It was the military, of course he had lives beneath his belt. He would tell me he had paperwork to do, or leave for a time for a mission. It never fully clicked. I figured it was paperwork-that must mean nothing bad? I was stupid. He never explained his title to me, but it was higher than most. That i could tell.

Thinking back on it, he never told me anything. I knew nothing about him. It was spare bits and pieces, but nothing substantial. It made me sick to my stomach. I put so much trust into him, blindly. He was always there, just lurking around me. I didn't even know what he looked like.

It didn't make any sense.

I felt so dumb, like the last month and a half of my life was just a big joke. Maybe none of it was real and i'll wake up any minute now. I had bruises from how i had pinched myself so many times. Sadly though, i was wide awake.

After i had left the hospital, i was taken into an ambulance. It was eerily similar to what had happened to me the first time i was rescued, however this time my hospital stay was much shorter. I was taken somewhere farther away, only there for a few days. I was virtually fine, still had healing to do, but that i could do on my own. The authorities gave me temporary housing, a small apartment in the city. It was just down the street from their police department, and i was given routine check ins. They told me they didn't want me going back to the university, most of that having to do with my roommate Lina.

The police had visited me on my second day at the new hospital. They told me everything.

Lina wasn't who she said she was.

From what i could understand, everything was connected. Lina was working for a shady group of people in Berlin, those same people were working with Al-Qtala. She was a decoy, one of many, that would lure people into the hands of rather dangerous people. Whether that was through corrosion, or in my case kidnapping, she was who set it up. It was a large ring, larger than i could've ever pictured. When she invited me into that club she knew. It was all planned. I was supposed to get drunk, the police said i was probably drugged, and the entire plan just fell into place.

They then also explained that she was on the run, no where to be found. Apparently her interaction with König set her off, and no one had heard from her since. They think she fled the country, but no one's truly knows yet.

She's the one that caused the hospital attack.
She tipped off her contacts, who then staged the attack. She was supposed to have been playing some long game with me to get me back into the ring, but after she saw König she got spooked and one thing led to another. Al-Qtala had some long history with König and the company he was under, it was a private military company i think they said. It mainly dealt with terrorists, and in the last few years they were focusing in on Al-Qtala. König had a reputation, and with his size and mask, you couldn't mistake him.

I never told them about me and him, or how often i would see him. I think König had managed to play him being with me off, but who am i to know right?

And then that was it.

I didn't get many more answers after that, it was an active investigation so i couldn't really be involved.

The last thing the police had told me was that i should leave Germany as quick i can. I was safe, but you couldn't be sure with these kinds of people. They said i should head back home and spend time with my family, take a break from school. Readjust mentally.

I won't lie, i had considered it before they brought it up. But it was still out for debate.

I was in my apartment now, scrolling on my laptop. Which, was taken in for evidence purposes and just recently returned to me. They had to make sure there wasn't some sort of tracking device or malware on it. Just making sure i'm safe.

I had a glass of wine next to me, the bottle sitting on the kitchen counter. I was checking the flights out of Germany, some going back home, and some just going anywhere that wasn't here.

I sighed and grabbed the glass, taking a long sip before setting it down. Truthfully, i shouldn't be mixing the meds i was on with alcohol, but at this point i couldn't care less.

I clicked out of my flights tab, staring at my computers home screen before giving up completely. I got up from my seat at the kitchen table, and replaced it with the armchair in the living room. The apartment was small,
so it wasn't much of a distance between the two.

The place had tall windows, they reminded me a little too much of the ones from the hospital.

I sat, staring, out at the road below. I tended to do this, it was easier to block things out this way. I used to play music as i did chores or attempted school work, but i stopped after a certain song reminded me him. König.

"You with the water color eyes"

That lyric hit me deep, and since then i avoided turning on my usual songs. Lately, i just felt numb.

A lot of things i used to cherish i no longer did. I was sucked dry, and i didn't know what to do about it. I was scared to leave my apartment, and after all it wasn't even mine. I had to leave eventually, which was a few months away. Even still, i had no clue what to do about moving:

I was a zombie again, and i was letting days pass without doing anything. If i wasn't thinking about my inevitable choice of leaving, i was just onto the next thing. Replaying everything in my head, second guessing myself and feeling like the world's biggest fool. My only friend turned out to be kidnapper. Or a kidnapping helper i guess? I couldn't even classify it and it fucked with my head even more.

After all of that though, one thing never left. He was always in the back of head. Just behind every thought and i'm starting to think i'm using all my bad memories to push him farther back. I couldn't wrap my head around anything, and he might be the most confusing part.

I could never decide if i hated him, or missed him. Maybe i wanted to see him again, or feel him holding my hand, or even holding me. It was hell. I wanted the one thing that made me feel safe, but now i couldn't tell if that was true anymore. Was i ever safe with him? He got me out of the hospital. God i didn't know anymore.

It was too much. I couldn't bare to think, and that just made me drink.

Maybe i can drown it all away.

IM SCARED