My Darkest Love

Chapter 18

"The name is Micah. I uh help around the hospital as an aid."
I smiled a bit and run my hand through my semi wet hair. "Luca."
Micah smiled back. "Nice to meet you Luca." Micah pulled out a notepad from his scrubs and wrote down on it. He ripped the paper and handed it to me. "Here."
I took it and noticed he had put a number down on it. "Uh?"

"It's my number. Text or call me if you need a friend. You look like you could need one right about now."

"oh..uh thanks." I gave him a sad grin as he walked off to finish his rounds. I sighed to myself before crumbling the paper up and shoving it in my jacket pocket. I didn't need to involve more people into my depressing life. Especially now more than ever. I just went through a breakup? Hell I don't even know what to call it at this point. He only wanted my body and the minute I showed any feelings, he retreated.  I guess its my own fault for not listening when he said it wasn't anything special. Part of me wished that I could go back and reverse everything I done. Meeting him was such a mistake and nothing was gonna change my mind. I sat back down on the cold bed and pulled out my cell phone. It was only at 5% and I had no messages from anyone. Then again Mitchell wouldn't tell anyone; Not even my parents.
"You ready to leave little bro?" Mitchell walked in with sadness in his eyes. "Yeah."
We walked outside and immediately he stopped in his tracks and faced me. "Why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Dont play fucking dumb with me Luca. I know you cut yourself. I..I've done it myself."

I couldn't even put together words before Mitchell spoke again. "I can't watch you do this to yourself. You are young and so full of life. I know you are going through puberty and feelings but you shouldn't hurt yourself to understand it. I've watched my own best friend kill himself with self harm. I was too late to save him and watched him die right in front of me. He lost everything, from his wife to his child and even his own home. Lucas you have a family that loves you. I know you have that one friend whom you care about. And lastly you have yourself. Dont focus on being in a relationship. You have your whole life to figure it out. No need to rush it. You are a sophomore in high school. Please for me just focus on your own self worth before trying to please everyone around you. You sink into depression doing that."

His words hit me with a sheer force of emotion. He never spoke to me like this and frankly I was more shocked his spoke about George. I had only met him once in my life but he was always bringing fun games for us to play. He was a chill dude...I never knew he died until now. I could only imagine the fear that Mitchell had.

"I'm so sorry. You are right and I promise you, I wont do it again. I messed up and I was upset because of Malachi."

"That boy who came over?"

"He is the one I liked and he used me for sex. I thought he had feelings for me because of the way we bonded so fast."
Mitchell raised an eyebrow. "Hold on, sex?!"
Shit.
"Yes Mitch sex. I had sex with him."

"Well uh. Okay and are you still?"

"God no. He decided it would be better if we split and end our relationship if that's what you want to call it."

"Good. You are better than that piece of trash, you hear?"

"I know. Again Im sorry...I just really liked him and he didn't."

"You'll find someone better."

Mitchell messed with my hair and laughed a bit. "Plus you do have the looks lil bro. Any guy would be lucky to f...nevermind."

I looked at him in disgust but laughed anyway. We walked to the car and on the way home we stopped for slushies. "No fair man. You got cherry?!"
"Ha! They had a bit left."
I chuckled and set my drink aside before feeling something poking me in my pocket. I pulled out the wad of paper and totally forgot that the Micah kid gave it to me. "I have a question Mitch."
Mitchell glanced over for a second as he was driving. "Yeah?"

"Should I try to make new friends? Even if they are guys?"
"Well duh. You can be gay and have straight friends or even gay friends."

"What if they get the wrong idea?"
"Then you talk it out. Doesn't hurt to explain your sexuality."

I thought about it and smiled as I put Micah's contact in my phone.