My Darkest Love

Chapter 28

(Trigger warning! Sensitive words!)

I read through the feed and it was all about me. My heart sinking further into my stomach, as each comment made was about how I looked or what I did. Being gay bashed was not on my agenda but sadly I couldn't prevent it. Once something was placed on the internet, there was no way to really delete it from everyone's memory. I sighed before closing my laptop and leaning back into my chair. I stared off into space just thinking about going back to school. There was nobody to protect me or to talk to now that Miles hates me. Was it even worth it to go back to school?

*knock knock*

"Baby, Can I come in?"

My mother was knocking as per usual. "Yeah."

She came in with a tray of food, the usual sad smile she had on her face when she saw me.

"I brought you dinner if you'd like it."

"I'm fine but thank you mom."

"You need to eat baby."

"Mom, I'm just not that hungry right now."

"What seems to be the matter?" She sat beside me and rubbed my arm gently. "You can talk to me."

"Miles hates me. Dad hates me. Eventually you'll hate me."

She rested her head on mine in a way to comfort me. "I could never hate you baby.

"Mom. I'm not normal and it's hard to talk about it to you or really anyone."

"What do you mean not normal?"

"I'm uh...not into girls."

She giggled at my comment.

"No mom, really I'm not." She looked at me funny before it fully sat in her mind. Her face twisted in disgust for a moment as she shot up from her spot. "Don't ever speak about this again. Do you understand!"

"Mom?..I'm sorry. I just.." Before I could finish my sentence she slapped me across the face. My body tensed up and retreated by backing away from her instead of defending myself. "I said enough! Now you will stay in here until I say otherwise."

"Ok.."
Her words pierced my heart with such fire that it burned all the love I previously felt. She was need going to look at me the same way. "Mom. I do love you. I'm the same me I promise."

She gathered up the food tray and huffed. "You are not my son. Just some boy who lives under my roof for the time being."

I fell in my knees, the tears running down my face. I had lost the one person who I cherished the most. She was my rock and my therapist when life knocked me down. I never thought she would actually say those words to me, let alone hit me. The burning sensation from where she left a huge red print on my cheek. "She...hates..me.."

I had laid on the floor for hours until the sky turned black. My room was barely lit as my LED lights were set to night mode. I could hear my parents downstairs chatting amongst themselves. Mitchell was explaining about his week at school, since he finally went back but needed a place to stay. My stomach began growling finally, signaling that I was hungry. I sat up and grabbed my phone, it was slightly charged at 35%. "Should I just go downstairs?" I stared into my wall mirror and sighed. I was disgusting looking, why would anyone love someone like me?
*knock knock*
I flinched and stood up. My door opened and my parents entered the room. Both with stern looks on their face. "Your mother has told me that you aren't wanting to be our son."

"No....I do." I could barely look them in the face.

"So why are you a faggot?!"

"I'm not...I promise." My father walked forward and grabbed ahold of my shirt. "Don't lie to me boy."

"Please...I'm not."

He threw me down and started digging in my stuff. Tossing my bed sheets and blankets to the floor. Books and all sorts of stuff from the closet and shelves. My room was a complete disaster by the end.

"You will pack up and leave tonight."

"What?.."

"Pack your shit up and leave. You are not welcomed in this house."

"Please...I have nowhere to go.."

"I don't care. Leave or I call the police."

I nodded my head, grabbing a bookbag. I started filling it with clothes and other necessities. They stood there and watched me as I filled a few more bags with my stuff. Once I was done, I walked past them and took them to my car. Thankfully it was a gift from my grandmother so they couldn't take it away from me. I put my stuff in the back seat and turned to face them. They had blocked the entrance of the house with mean looks on their faces. "I'm sorry for being a disappointment to you both. I hope in time you can forgive me. I'll uh, leave and I won't bother you again."

They didn't say a word as they went inside and shut the door. I opened my car door and got inside. Went I backed out of the driveway, I looked around for a place to park to sleep. I drove for an hour around town, finding an old park. Thankfully I was able to park my car and relax. I reclined my seat and covered myself up with a blanket. My heart sank into my stomach as I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning was rough, as I had barely any money. I refused to go to school and ignored all the calls and messages. I decided to turn off my phone permanently to just live my life. The rest of the day went okay as I got an interview at a small retail store to earn some gas money.