Tale of Two Queens

[039] Age of Innocence

Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me. The carriage held, but just ourselves and immortality.

—Emily Dickinson

Mera couldn't say exactly how she felt. Perhaps she felt victorious but she didn't know how sleeping with one's uncle was exactly a good thing. A million thoughts ran through her head as Mera looked out the window. The moon high above in the clouds as Oldtown seemed evermore at sleep.

Everything happened so fast. She wasn't sure time was real by this point.

Mera went through a summary of her life so far. First she read a book, then another, and then another before spending her nights in the library. Got her heart broken, her world shattered with the loss of her father before completely discarding the remnants of her past self. Then Daeron and Vaegon came into her world before she ended up here, naked, in her uncle's bed.

The first time Mera was ever properly introduced to sex was when she had found Aegon with one of her serving maids in her library, back home. They had done their thing on her desk. 

Her desk. She was sure to burn it before having new copies of her books written with a whole new set up created. Mera refused be in a thirty foot radius of Aegon and his whore activities. She had made a ban on his presence in the library, having Ser Eryck guard the door whilst she was inside at all times.

That was before she met Ser Darklyn. Mera never talked about it after Aegon caught her glaring sight. They had a silent little pact that said for the both of them to never speak of the incident. Mera liked it that way, she didn't want to talk about it. The best was for the thing to float in the air and dissipate.

And at the time, Mera didn't know what they were doing until she gained access to the maesters library by pleading with her grandsire who, in truth, had no idea that his granddaughter would be reading on improper topics such as procreation.

Though, at the time Mera didn't know sex was also for pleasure. She just thought that it was an absurd amount of children Aegon wanted to have with all the sex he did.

More of all, Mera never would have thought that she'd be the one to have sex before Baela or Rhaena did. In her mind, Baela would have hit the age all girls go in heat and lose her maidenhead to some squire and Rhaena with her "sweet lord husband."

She didn't define herself by her maiden head and Mera would defend that until the last breath of her's. Mera found her faults in her character, not in the integrity of some membrane inside her. She would be fourteen soon, an acceptable age where she lost her maidenhead in Westerosi standards.

Part of her wanted a desperate hug from her mother right then. She felt the need to cry a bit but something planted deep inside of her told her not to. 

She ripped at the side of her cutiles, staring up at the canopy as Daeron hugged her. The second his breathing evened out, Mera pried his hand off her waist and got up. She quickly dressed herself and tiptoed to the door, grabbing Daeron's boots and a small dagger with a soft swipe. The door was quietly opened as Mera didn't spare one last glance behind her.

Whatever happened in that room, whatever past she had or blood she may have spilt would stay in that room.

The little childhood innocence Mera once had would loom in his bed, under the sheets where the sign of her broken maidenhead laid. Her age of innocence was dead, and so was she.

Mera's hair was loose in it's raven curls as she tied it lazily behind her while she marched out his chambers in her bare feet with her boots in one hand. She quickly turned and began sprinting through the corridors as she used the knife to cut away much of the fabric that constricted her movement.