𝙊𝘽𝙎𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉 | 𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙃 𝙒𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝘼𝙈𝙎𝙊𝙉

Chapter 11 - Past

Madeline's POV

It was now Saturday, match day. I had gone to training the previous day, but i left as soon as it ended with Alessia. Now i had to actually play, i hoped that all the unwanted attention from social media didn't affect how i played. For some reason i felt like more eyes were going to be on me now that those photos were put online. 

"Mads...you alright?" alessia said from behind me. 

"Yeah, do i not look okay?" i asked her turning to her. 

"You just looked like you were lost in your thoughts.." alessia smiled patting my back. "You're gonna do great alright.." alessia assured me, it almost sounded like she was trying to convince herself. 

"Thanks less..." i nodded and smiled before turning back around to get ready to walk out. 

~

The social media, and the photos had definitely gotten to me. It was only my second game for arsenal but even i knew that i played like absolute shit. Throughout the whole game i felt myself focusing more on the fans, players, my teammates anything but the ball. Everything leah had given to me fell out of my head. I had lost the ball a few times, but thankfully my teammates saved us those few times. 

As soon as i heard the whistle, i didn't want to speak to anyone so i exited the pitch. As i was walking in the direction of the changing rooms i heard footsteps behind me. I turned and saw a serious looking leah walking towards me. I sighed getting ready for the talk she was about to have with me, getting ready for the scolding she was gonna do.

"Hey, are you alright?" leah asked in a softer voice.

"Am i okay? Are you fucking serious? I almost lost the game for us, i'm lucky beth made that goal..." i said looking up at leah visibly upset.

"Madeline everyone has bad games.." 

"I don't care, i don't want to have a bad game...i played like literal shit and Jonas is probably regretting signing me or putting me in today.." i looked around the empty hallway. 

"Don't say that...you had a bad game so what?" 

"Yeah, leah thank you for reminding me.." i scoffed and started walking towards the changing rooms again. I heard leah's footsteps behind me following behind.

"You know i didn't mean it like that?" 

"Leah, you are the last person i want to talk to right now.." i turned and faced leah. Leah looked confused, her eyebrows furrowed at me. "Just give me space.." i said before leaving to the changing rooms. 

~

Alessia had driven me home that day, It was now the next day. I had my day off and i didn't even feel like talking to anyone, which wasn't a problem since Eleonor wasn't even home. She had gone out with Jacob, that guy she had met from school. This is the moment where i would die to have a conversation with her, i needed my best friend. But i would rather her be happy with whoever that guy is, then to have her listening to me bitch about something that i got myself into.

I was watching greys anatomy in my living room, eating ice cream from a bowl. It sounds very depressing, and it was. I felt alone, i had nobody to rant Alessia had already made plans with Lotte and Beth and Viv. I didn't want to interrupt their day off.