𝙊𝘽𝙎𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉 | 𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙃 𝙒𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝘼𝙈𝙎𝙊𝙉

Chapter 43 - Old Friends and Memories

Madeline's POV

Leah walked towards the stairs, we heard her footsteps as she walked up the stairs. I looked back at jacob who nodded at me, i looked at eleonor and caden. "Excuse me, i'll be right back.." i said, i walked off upstairs. I could hear them start talking about something new as i walked up the stairs. 

I saw my room door slightly open, i walked in pushing the door slowly. I saw leah sitting on my bed, her head looked up at me. I sighed and closed the door behind me, i made my way towards her and sat next to her.

"Madeline." leah said. "Tell me the truth...why don't you want to have kids?" 

"Leah, i already told you." i said looking up at her.

"Then why did your ex boyfriend just admit that you two had plans of having a family? What's different about me?" leah asked sounding genuinely confused.

"Nothing's different- i mean you're ten times a better partner than he was but..." i shrugged and looked away at the door.

"Why were you so sure on having a kid with him but not me? Not just one but three.." leah's voice cracked at the end.

"It was all because of my mom- our families...his family too it's like they expected us to have a traditional life together..all because i had a stupid crush on him once." i said. "After we started dating, my mom kept putting stuff in my head about how he was the perfect guy and how he'd be a great dad one day.." i explained, i remember my mom's conversation clearly. "The reason i had that talk with him was because i didn't know i was coming to arsenal, i thought i'd just play college soccer and later on graduate and just live a normal life...but obviously that's not what happened." 

Leah looked at me, she looked way too intrigued.

"I do want to have kids." i blurted out, leah's eyes widened for a second but i could tell she was trying so hard not to smile.

"But not with me..." leah whispered.

"No- i do...with you." i said looking at leah's blue eyes, they were starting to get glossy. "But not like any time soon...i did mean what i said about me being a bit young for that.." i said quickly.

"Madeline-I don't understand..." leah shook her head and turned to me still sitting on the edge of the bed. "Then why are we broken up..." 

"Leah...because what we said- it's true, we argue way too much." i said. "I guess i just wanted to see if we would be better at being friends than partners..." 

"Oh..." leah said sounding disappointed. "Can i ask what made you change your mind- i thought you were pretty set on not having kids..." 

"I just thought about it....on why i 'thought' i didn't want kids." i said. "I came to the conclusion that i was pretty much all fear- which i know any new mothers are going to be scared but i know how good you are with kids." i said smiling at leah, she smiled at me and nodded. "I guess part of me was scared that i wouldn't be a good mother at least as good as you'd be."

"That wouldn't be true...you would be a great mother." leah put her hand on my knee.

"Thank you but...you had a great mother growing up..and i love my mother i don't think i can ever stop loving her but i don't think i'd know how to be one."