A Court of Shadows and Pain

Thirty-six

He still didn't understand it.

How had he felt her panic and pain, and how had he been able to find her so quickly?

The way she had yelled for help. But not out loud, in his mind.

Whether it had been intentional or accidentally, she had called for his help. But Azriel wasn't going to say his assumptions out loud. Especially not after falsely accusing her like that.

She hated him now, and it was better this way.

It had been a long night after the two Fae males who attempted to kill Valery woke up. He had spent the rest of the evening trying to get information out of them, but they had only laughed at his attempts.

He would return to questioning them after Solstice. Or better, to torture them.

It was now well past midnight and he finally returned home. He contemplated spending the night at the House of Wind, but he everything in him screamed to make sure that Valery was alright.

She didn't even have to know. It was just for his sake. The way he worried for her started to annoy him.

He walked into the River House, making his way up the stairs. The house was already quiet and empty.

The blood that stained his leathers wasn't his, making it smell even worse. It never failed to disgust him.

His room was just a few doors away from Valery's. He decided to slip a shadow inside to check on her. The moment he did, he heard shifting in her room.

He pulled the shadow back, being afraid to get caught. As he tried walking away, the door shot open.

"I prefer if you just knock." Valery said calmly, but he could see the fury in her eyes.

She was clean again, not a single drop of blood on her body. Her beautiful dress was now replaced by a black nightgown.

"How's your arm?" he asked her, pointing to it.

Some of the fury now left her eyes. "It's healed." she answered. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Azriel sighed. He should've just walked away at that point. She clearly wanted nothing to do with him. But if what he had felt earlier was true, they needed to talk anyway.

"Can we talk?" he decided to ask.

Valery looked him over, biting her lip. He could see the hesitation before she moved to open the door, inviting him in.

A few of Valery's shadows curled around his leg. They almost looked angry, so he paid them no attention. He knew she wouldn't hurt him. Right?

Valery walked over to the balcony connected to her room, walking outside and leaning on the railing.

The stars were bright tonight. She looked up at them. Azriel did the same, standing next to her. He was sure to leave some space between them.

"I'm sorry." Azriel started.

Valery kept her attention on the stars, waiting for him to continue.

"I shouldn't have said what I said. I wasn't thinking straight." he continued. "I don't think you're a traitor."

Valery snorted. "Maybe you should think before speaking." she muttered.

Azriel turned to look at her face. It appeared even more beautiful under the light of the night sky. "If I may be honest, I am never really thinking straight when it comes to you."

Valery slowly turned her eyes to him. The anger had now disappeared out of her face. "You don't mean that." she said softly.

It was becoming harder not to inch closer to her. "I do. I really like you and I hate to have hurt you. Please accept my apology. I would really like to-"

Valery cut him off, "Don't continue that sentence." she pleaded. "You don't want this." her voice broke.

Azriel now finally allowed himself to get closer to her, leaving only a few inches between them. "I know exactly what I want." he softly put his hand against her cheek.

Valery shook her head, looking into his eyes. "No you don't. You're making a mistake. You can't trust me, I-..." she avoided his eyes now. "I can't do this."

Azriel couldn't help the sting of pain he felt at her words. "Is it that you don't want this or that you're scared for me to see you the way you see yourself." Valery stiffened.

"If that's the reason then I would like to remind you of my job again. I torture people for a living, you can't be much worse than I am. And even if you are, I will love every part of you. I don't care whether you are a murderer or a liar. You can explain everything to me with time. And I trust you to do so." he leaned closer into her, their lips almost touching.

Valery closed her eyes and sighed, leaning into his touch. "You can't trust me."

Azriel forced her to look up to him. "Maybe that's my problem, but I don't care. I know you have your reasons for keeping secrets. I have mine, so I understand. That doesn't scare me away."

Valery's lips parted slightly, as if she wanted to say something. Her eyes instead flickered to his lips before softly pressing her mouth against his.

This kiss wasn't like the heated onces they'd shared before. No, this one was sweet and soft and full of emotion.

He put one hand on the back of her neck. She put her hands up against his chest.

After a few more seconds, she pushed him away, breaking the kiss. He only know noticed the tears rolling down her face.

"You should go." she whispered.

Azriel removed his hands from her body, hurt flashing through him. "What?"

"Leave." she spoke a bit harder this time.

Azriel stared at her for a few seconds. The only thing he wanted to do was wipe those tears from her cheeks as they kept falling.

He instead decided to listen to her, walking straight for the door.

It hurt him to hear the sobs coming out of her as he opened the door and closed it, leaving her alone.