A Court of Shadows and Pain

Fourty-one

Valery's breath hitched as Azriel's scarred hands touched her back. He slowly applied the cream to her back, his hands gentle.

"Everything okay?" Azriel asked from behind her.

Valery nodded. She had never let anyone touch her scars, so she couldn't help but stay a bit tense at his touch.

They sat in silence as Azriel worked his way up her back. The uncomfortable feeling of the scars on her back immediately disappeared. Valery let out a sigh of relief at the feeling.

She hadn't slept this well in a long time, and it was definitely because of Azriel. There had been no dreams, no nightmares. Just peace. Even her shadows had stopped bothering her during the night.

The way he had confessed his love for her, the way he had been holding onto her the entire night, how he was currently taking care of her scars. Everything made her want to fall in love with him even more.

And yet, she couldn't bring herself to say that she loved him. To confirm everything she felt. It could very well be used against her, so she couldn't risk it.

Trying to block out her thoughts, she focused on Azriel's touch.

A small smile crept up Valery's face. There was no way this was real. She had a mate. He was her person and she was his. And yet, she couldn't shove down that sickening feeling that something bad was about to happen.

She had to remind herself that she was still being hunted. Maybe not as heavily as before, but it was still there. They could very well kill her soon.

She wouldn't accept the bond yet. If she would really die, Azriel wouldn't be broken as badly as he would be if she accepted the bond.

"What are you thinking about?" his deep voice rumbled from behind her.

"You." she answered back.

Azriel's hand stopped for a second before continuing his circular movement on her back. "All done." he said after a few more seconds, kissing her shoulder. "You want some for your hands?" he asked.

"Thank you and no." Valery muttered. The scars lining her hands and arms didn't bother her as much as the ones on her back. She threw a look over her shoulder, finding Azriel's eyes already on her, a soft smile on his face which immediately warmed her body.

Azriel stood from the bed. "I have to go change, I'll be leaving in about ten minutes."

"Yes, me too. I'm going to try and convince Rhys to train with me." she told him while also leaving the bed, picking up her dress.

Azriel turned her around, cupping her face with his hands. "I'll see you tonight?" he asked softly.

Valery nodded. "Of course." she stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips. When she tried to pull away, Azriel only deepened the kiss.

After another few seconds she pushed away again, this time Azriel let her. "Don't you have to go in a few minutes?" she asked with a grin.

He rolled his eyes. "I'd rather stay here with you, but yes." he said, turning around to gather his leathers.

"Tonight." Valery stated.

Azriel grinned at her. "Is that a promise?"

Valery shrugged. "Maybe. See you." she answered before leaving the room, her shadows close to follow her.

She could feel a Azriel's frustration through the bond, which only made her chuckle.

There was no one close enough to see her walk out of Azriel's room, so she walked over to her own room while still wearing Azriel's sweater, her dress in her hands.

Then she realized that they had literally disappeared yesterday night. What would Rhys's family be thinking?

She didn't want them to know about the bond. Yet.

The pull of the bond made her want to be with Azriel even more. But she had to work on herself first. Spending the night or having sex wasn't going to change anything, right?

She really wanted this to work. She really wanted him. But first, she needed kill Arwyn's sons.

And the only way she was going to get some leads, was by meeting up with Eris.

But that would be another problem for her future self.

After getting dressed for the day, Valery made her way downstairs. She could feel that Azriel wasn't anywhere near.

She had a feeling about where he was going. Maybe she felt a bit upset that he hadn't told her, but she didn't ask, so he didn't owe her an explanation.

"Where did you disappear to yesterday?" a male voice spoke behind her.

She had been so busy in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed her shadow's alerting her of Rhys's presence.

"I felt.. sick." she told him the lie.

Rhys looked her up and down. "Are you lying to me?" he raised an eyebrow.

"No." Valery blurted out.

But Rhys saw right through her. "Then explain to me why you and Az disappeared at the same time."

Valery shifted on her feet, her shadows growing restless. She couldn't lie to her best friend. He would probably hate her for it.

"We were.. talking." she said slowly.

Rhys still didn't look convinced. "Just talking?" there was a hint of amusement in his face.

This time she actually didn't have to lie. But she wasn't going to tell him about the bond. That was something between her and Azriel. For now.

"Maybe we fucked once or twice." she muttered.

Rhys's eyes widened. "I should've known." a small grin spread across his face. "So are you two together or?"

Valery stayed silent for a few seconds before answering. "Not really."

She wasn't really sure what they were at this point. They were mates, they loved each other--even though only Azriel had truly said it, but still she really didn't know.

"Just so you know, I am going to give Azriel the best friend talk." Rhys said.

Valery raised her eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just to make sure he knows not to hurt your feelings."

Valery laughed. If only he knew it wasn't him who was hurting feelings between the two of them. "Thank you for the effort." she stepped forward, "So what do you say to sparring together."

Rhys clasped an arm around her back. "I would never say no to that."