A Court of Secrets and Moonlight

88: Silver Light

Azriel

I was floating.

One minute, there was chaos. Explosions of power, white smoke and fire, hell itself coming to claim us all, twin blades in my hand.

Someone was next to me, I remembered that.

I remembered her eyes, glowing gold. I remembered her bloodstained face, cut only with tear tracks running down her cheeks. I remembered how beautiful she looked even when the world was ending around us, a ray of light in the darkness, a song in the silence.

And I was loved, I knew that.

Undoubtedly, unconditionally- I knew that whoever she was, she loved me.

And then there was a flash of pain, white hot and excruciating, and it was all over. There was the utter chaos, the end of everything. And then there was nothing.

An endless abyss of nothingness.

Something was pulling on me though, like a string tying me to wherever reality was hidden in the darkness. A glowing rope, tied around my soul or whatever I was- anchoring me from drifting too far away.

Pain.

I could feel pain.

Absolute sorrow, soul-crushing pain. Not my own, I was sure I could no longer feel it. But someone else's.

Hers.

I could see her then.

She was covered in ash and blood, small cuts on her cheeks and temples, her skin paler than it should have been. And she was screaming.

The kind of scream that rattled the world, that ended everything. A scream that could only be created by pure heartbreak, an irrevocable breaking of one's soul.

I wanted her to stop.

I hated the sound, hated seeing her upset, hated seeing tears streaming down her face, hated feeling fear roll off of her. Some part of me was screaming in answer, trying to crawl its way back to her, trying and failing, relentless,

"Please don't go. Please don't leave me."

I didn't want to.

I wanted to stay.

And yet I was stuck here. I ran but went nowhere, kicked but hit nothing, swam but never moved. I was floating in this abyss, unable to find my way back to her.

"Look, everyone is here. Everyone is waiting for you, my love."

A group of males and females appeared in the nothingness. All of them with tear-stained faces, all of them so familiar.

And yet no names came to me.

No memories accompanied the sight of them.

All I knew was that they were there, crying, arguing, desperately trying to find a way to undo what had been done.

And then there was a spark of hope. So quick I could have missed it, lost within that undying stream of pain but there nonetheless.

And then she was holding me.

I did not know how, did not know what was happening. All I knew was that beautiful wide wings had sprouted from her back and she was holding me. Warmth and safety and comfort.

Undying determination.

And even while she cried, even when that pain did not cease- she spoke to me. She gave me the names I had forgotten, told me the story of our love, of our lives- of everything that seemed so unattainable now.