A Court of Secrets and Moonlight

58: Roots

Leur

Windhaven Camp, 526 years ago

Warmth and the sound of my mother's voice had me mostly asleep. I didn't know much, couldn't comprehend much. All I knew was that we had been living in Illyria for about a year now, and Rhys went to training most days.

I missed my brother when he was gone.

He was one of my favorite people, perhaps besides my mother and Mor. He had gotten in trouble today for getting into a fight with some other trainee. He came home without his clothes and with three lashings on his back. I cried when I saw the blood, but Rhys had told me it didn't hurt.

I wasn't sure I believed him.

Sometimes, my brother lied to me. I knew that it was because he thought I was too little to understand the truth, but I thought that four was plenty old enough to understand. Though, I still got scared of thunderstorms at night. So maybe when I could be brave enough to face one by myself, Rhys would tell me everything. It was a cold night tonight, a mix between snowing and raining. I'd probably have to wait until spring to see if I was strong enough to face another thunderstorm.

My mother was brushing my hair, a crackling fire echoing next to me. She said it was to make sure it dried faster, because I wasn't supposed to sleep with wet hair. Mother said it was because of the cold, but Mor had told me it was to make sure it stayed soft and shiny. My cousin was the prettiest girl I had ever seen, so whenever she gave me beauty advice I was always sure to listen.

Still, my shadows didn't like the fire. They told me to move away from it, that the light was too bright. Mother and I had been working on ignoring some of the things my shadows told me to do recently, mainly the ones that were meant to keep me in the dark. Whenever I washed my hair, she sung to me while I sat by the fire to keep me distracted. Hummed melodies, old folk songs, sometimes even the newer music from Velaris. Every once in a while, I would sing with her.

But my voice was nowhere near as beautiful as hers was.

Mother disagreed with me. She thought I was the best singer, told me so all the time, even found a voice teacher to come train me once a week. But I knew I could never sound like her. My mother sounded like the warm summer sun, like pure light and comfort. The sound of her singing a soft tune nearly lulled me to sleep as she ran the brush through my hair, over and over.

Someone is coming. My shadows warned.

I perked up, and a moment later the door swung open. Rhysand barged in, half dressed with his boots half tied. I didn't see him leave, so he must have snuck out the window. He was nearly blue from the cold, soaking wet and shivering with his wings wrapped around himself.

Beside him was a taller boy who looked like he might have been a bit older than my brother. His clothes were ripped and torn, his skin dirty even while still being wet. Dark black hair fell long around his face, tangled and dripping with the cold rain. He was far too thin, nothing but muscle and bone, sunken cheeks and blue lips. His hazel eyes looked so sad, darting wildly around the inside of our cabin.

"Rhysand, what has gotten into you?" My mother hissed, stepping from her spot behind me.

"This is Cassian." Was all my brother had to say for himself, gesturing to his friend who looked to be nothing but terrified.

My mother took a moment, her face going red as she looked between Rhys and the other boy, Cassian. From the look on her face, I knew my brother was in big trouble.

"Kitchen. Now." She pointed at the doorway, giving me one last glance before following Rhys through.

The boy looked like he didn't know what to do with himself, softly shutting the door and then standing there awkwardly. I took a moment to stare at him, to let my shadows listen to him. He looked like he hadn't eaten in a long time, looked like those clothes had been the only things he had. Did he even have a home? A family?