A Court of Secrets and Moonlight

51: Blood and Exile

Leur

500 years ago, 1 week before the lie

It rarely rained in Velaris.

The city was nestled deep enough in the mountains that we were shielded from most of the storms that found their way north. The wild magic of the court naturally deflected clouds to allow for unobstructed views of the night sky.

But today, it was pouring down rain.

Thunder boomed, echoing so loud across the mountain peaks that my ears rang with it. I despised thunderstorms. Growing up in the House of Wind, with no windows or doors to muffle the sound, cut into the risen mountainside, they had sounded like encroaching death. When I was little, I used to creep into Rhys's room when it stormed and sleep with him. He never got angry, never tried to kick me out, not even when he was a brooding teen. He'd get me balls of cotton to shove in my ears to muffle the sound and promise to keep me safe. And somehow, the impossibility of sleep would always wane as he held my hand. In Illyria, after Cassian had come along, the thunderstorms were so much louder in the mountains. I would bounce between which of my brothers I chose to bother when it stormed. The first time I had gone to Cassian, he hadn't questioned me, hadn't teased me like I feared, he simply opened his arms and held me with all the strength of an older brother. Years later, I realized he had started keeping a jar of cotton in his bedside drawer just for me.

But now, I was all grown up. Not that it would matter. I doubted either of my brothers would mind if I crawled into their bed in the dead of night out of fear of a thunderstorm. But they weren't here, they almost never were. Cassian spent most of his time in Illyria, only coming home for weekend nights out and the odd visit every once in a while. And Rhys was... well, I didn't know what he was doing. Avoiding our father, brooding over Amarantha being left alive, drinking himself into oblivion to try to drown what he had seen and done in the war, maybe a combination of them all. I didn't blame them for leaving, not past my own selfish resentment at being left alone. It was silly, I knew it, and deep down I knew it was never their intentions.

But it was just me here, fielding my father's requests and planning a wedding I wanted no part in. Azriel was gone on missions all the time, barely making appearances to report back to my father. Mor was busy helping Miriam and Drakon. So, it was just me and my mother to now fill the empty house. I went to the Spring Court as often as I could without feeling guilty for leaving my mother alone with my father. I spent the time I could spare trying to figure a way out of the horrific mess I had found myself in with Tamlin.

Somehow, my best friend had become the only person I had left. I supposed it was because he was the only one who knew all my secrets, who was aware of what I had done in the war, of the hell I'd wrought upon myself afterwards. He was like a constant steady presence, a rock in the storm. I found myself wishing to go to the Spring Court as I flinched at a particularly loud crack of thunder.

A needle poked into my side as my mother's hand slipped, a tiny pinch of pain as she fixed what I had messed up.

"Stop figeting, Leur." She chided, a few pins held between her teeth as she worked.

She had already begun designing and creating my wedding dress. White tulle draped across my waist as she was creating the layering of the puffy skirt while I still wore the dress, so that the contours of it would flow perfectly with my body.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly, stilling myself again as I stared at my reflection in the mirror ahead.

My face had gotten slightly fuller, along with my breasts. My hips had grown wider, the smallest bump forming over my womb. Amren and I did not have long before we'd have to set our plan in motion. Maybe only a few weeks left before I could no longer safely sustain the energy it took to make those around me ignore the shift in my scent.