this time i'll get better

chapter 3: make peace

I've made peace with us. The good, the bad, the unforgettable, the forgotten. In all the places that we've been to.

I've forgave myself for us. You had forgiven me way back then and it was I who hadn't been able to. I couldn't forgive myself for many years, for the things that are lost, for the person I have loved.

It took me awhile to be able to make peace with myself. Not with you, not us. I couldn't make peace with myself because I couldn't thoroughly understand what has happened. I kept blaming myself for the wrongs and made myself the villain to our downfall.

Up until a few days ago, that I realized, forgiveness is the key, then what came through was acceptance and then was peace. I forgave myself for letting us go. For letting us slip.

You are happy with your life and I am proud for the things that you have achieved. I see you living your life without any constrictions. You smile so much in your pictures and your voice in the video made me sure that you are happy and content. And so am I.

And so should I be happy with my life too. I've gotten my Degree, I've built up savings, I've traveled, I've made new friends, I've achieved so much that I used to belittle myself.

And now, all that is left is picking up the pieces that I left behind.

Now all that is left is trying to find a way to patch myself up.

Now all that is left is making me feel worthy once again.

Now all that is left is finding myself and make me whole again.

Now all that is left is to fill my castle with good company and wealth.

Now all that is left is me.

Now all that is left is peace.

And I can proudly say, I have made peace.