chapter 55: vows

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"May you never steal, lie or cheat.
But if you must steal, steal away my sorrows.
If you must lie, lie with me for the rest of my life.
And if you must cheat, cheat Death."

I always hated weddings. Some sort of dread that seeps into me whenever I'm in one. How every wedding has always had that same cliché sentence. Whether it'd be,

"Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours"

"Til Death do us apart"

How those words would have meant something to me. How those words meant everything. Funny. How things changed from something that I always wanted to hear to being the most annoying thing ever uttered.

I know, I am petty. Just because the love of my life slipped through my fingers, I happened to be this despicable and cruel person who envies others love life.

Yes and no. Depends on the circumstances really. I crave affection but I also lock the door twice when Love comes knocking.

I think that my love ended with the Her who got away. And anyone else who comes in line does not have a clear chance of getting close. And in a long run, I don't think I might change.

Why? Well, I rather find myself first and fully prepared myself for someone who would settle for me. Because I know I wouldn't. I wouldn't settle for me just because of how much of a loser I am. Despite my accomplishments, I think, I don't want to settle for me. So until then, when another person genuinely wants to settle for me, I'll keep my vows to myself.

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