this time i'll get better

chapter 22: familiar stranger

"So you're from Uda too?"

"Yeah, I mean not that close but around there I guess."

"See I've been trying to find and let the students meet those who came from the same hometown, and I think she would be very delighted to hear that there's finally someone who is from the same place."

Din walked away through the crowds to the next room, leaving me with a cup of lemonade in the midst of the students.

I hate meeting new people. There's just too much to say. I rather sit in my room and listen to music or just read, and here I am dragged into this room of strangers that I refuse to interact with.

I look around, the students from the same country that I am, all laughing and talking about how they missed home. Funny how it has been 7 months in and I dread the thought of having to fly back to Malaysia. I wanted to study abroad because I owed myself to travel while studying. And there's also how back there, she still haunts me.

How the big cities would have silhouettes of our younger days. How I badly wanted to escape to somewhere her ghost wouldn't glance or bumped into me.

"Alex! I found her. Come here!"

I leave out a sigh as I squeezed into the next room.

Turn back.

My heart said.

Just turn back.

And I stopped for a second. What is this heavy feeling? Why am I scared? I am far away from her. Meeting a new person wouldn't hurt.

The air, smells like her.

Perplexed. I can hear Din calling out for me. A tingling sense. I somehow recognize this scent. But I couldn't point a finger to it.

Let's get back to the house.

I shake my head, telling myself it's just my overthinking.

And as I stepped into the room, a pair of eyes gazed. Somehow, I felt home, safe, back to when I was younger.

As I passed by the students blocking the view, my heart raced. Everything was spiraling out of control. My mind, my body. My chest tightens as I move closer. I hold my breath.

"So Sasha, this is Alex. He's from Uda too. How small this world is huh?"

I stood in silence. My tongue had somehow withdrew into its shell.

Her eyes, my god her eyes. She has these gleaming pair of eyes that God had created just for her. How the brown in it shines from the sight of light. Her glasses perched upon her little nose. Her cheeks that blushed as if she was complimented. How her lips painted light pink as she opened them to say, "Alex?". How her voice had set me back to high school. How my tall brick walls shattered and crumbling down. How my guard has been taken off. How I am defenseless, speechless, in awe, captivated by the same girl I had fallen for.

How all of these times that I had spent running, trying to forget her, hating myself for letting her leave, comes to this. How she had been a fading, distant memory, now here she is. As a familiar stranger.

Din gave a brief look and stepped out of the room, leaving me, tongue tied, her, waiting for me to say something.

"You look like you seen a ghost.", she jokes.

"I-"

"It's fine. You're collecting your thoughts. Let's get out of this room first. You can arrange your sentences while we walk."

She led me through a series of halls out to the garden. And nothing, absolutely nothing in my mind that I could muster up the strength to say anything. I didn't want to do, or to be exact, what can I do to not spoil the time I got with her.

"So, what brings you to Aberdeen?"

"I'm finishing up my thesis."

"Oh, that sounds good. I'm-"

"Sasha, I'm sorry. I didn't know you would be here, and I don't want you to hate me even more after what happened to us."

"Hey, why are you so worried about me hating you? We ended things on good terms didn't we? And the last time I saw, you found another girl."

We fall into silence. Indeed, I did found another as you did. Just a couple months after our breakup, she put some guy's picture on her Spotify, and I posted a picture on Instagram.

"Yeah, I was petty at the time. I found out a picture you took with another guy and I thought I could fall in love just as quick as you did."

"That was Andrew. My younger brother?"

"Oh. I'm sorry. I-"

"It's fine. So, who's the new girl?"

"We broke up before I left for Aberdeen."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?"

"We couldn't make up for our mistakes and didn't find the right time. So as a final result, she decided that she couldn't continue with the relationship anymore. Couldn't blame her, it's tough to be with someone whose mind is in a blaze."

"You still beat yourself up for things you can't control. You know, you shouldn't do that right? It's not nice and it wouldn't help your process to grow better."

"And you still read me like a book."

She blushes as her eyes wander around the setting skies. 14 thousand kilometers away from where we started, and here we are again.

To be continued.