this time i'll get better

chapter 26: I'm good

"You know, I have a classmate who's also taking her Master's next intake. I am quite certain that she's your type. You should really give a try."

"If you had said this 2 years ago, I might just. Could've even be like you. All grown up and having a partner. But I've given up on love. Figured it's just not "it" for me."

"You sure about that? How about just a meetup? It wouldn't hurt to try now would it?"

"Well, to me it does. It hurts and haunts to try. I'm still recovering from the first one. So I'll pass up on this. I mean, I know you mean well, I worry about me actually. Your friend could be the perfect one and I don't want to be the wrong guy for her. 1 wrecked, long term relationship is enough for me to admit that I suck in love."

"You're beating up yourself again."

"I'm not. I'm just saving myself and your friend and everyone else from unnecessary pain and burden. I rather be mocked for how I am not in any relationship than to ruin a person's perception of love. I worry more about disappointing others than them disappointing me. I mean, of course, as loony person that I am, I do want to be in a relationship, seeing how happy you are now with your partner and how the movies depict how epic and wonderful love is. God how they just show only the good parts of it and leave out the bad parts for us to experience it ourselves. I mean this goes without saying that love is both accepting your partner no matter what, it's because you love them right? Yeah, that's where I can never be sure that the next person in line could accept me."

"You're being skeptical. I am certain if you gave the right person the time and energy to understand how simple your complex mind is, she'll be with you no matter what."

"I did. Once. But now I'm good."