this time i'll get better

chapter 14: mind of mine

"Mind, don't you think of her?"

"This again? For how many times, Heart, for how many more times do I have to say it to you, she left for the better. We have to be better. Not for her. For us."

"But I kinda miss her."

"It's not your fault. I do too. But we have to be strong. The only reason we are alive and here is because that we are strong. So keep your chin up. The feeling will fade."

Funny how Mind says all this with a straight face. I mean, he's always been stoic and nonchalant kind of person. But this is the first time he's ever admitted he misses her.

Perhaps it is better to keep it to myself. But how? Whatever I feel, he will think of it. And whatever he thinks, I will feel it. We are both interconnected.

I feel bad whenever I feel sad and Mind has to think it too. It is not his weight.

"I'm sorry that I involved you into this matter, Mind."

"Don't sweat it, Heart. Whatever that you feel is valid. To a certain extent. But since you're already like a twin of mine, I do not mind it at all. I couldn't leave you and carry the weight by yourself."

He disregards the weight. He always does. He tries to maintain being this strong. But I know, he has so much that he carries all alone.

"You do know, I can read and think whatever it is that you're feeling?"

"I'm sorry. It's just, I want to be strong like you. I wish I could be strong as you. So that I can lift us up. So that being strong doesn't only apply to you."

"Heart, you're the soft spot in us. If you were to be like me, it wouldn't work. I need you to be as soft, as gentle, full of grace and care. Leave the heavy part to me. It's not that heavy after what we've been through."

"You got me again, Mind. I'm Watson to your Sherlock no?"

"Perhaps, it's best if you get some rest. You're straying."

I wonder if Mind ever think of her.

_________________________________________

I do. These empty halls echoes her name. The walls bellows for days since she left. But I kept it all to myself. I know if Heart would be in more pain and despair if I said a word about it.

But I could never let it get it too much. Who wouldn't miss a person they swore to be together for a lifetime? It wasn't real if they don't. I miss her with everything that is in me.

But I understand her decision to deserve better.

I know she deserves better.

No matter,

if she would've said no if I became better,

I did this because I owe Heart a happy life,

a happy ending.