this time i'll get better

chapter 60: after

Read somewhere that, after you got over the emotional attachment you have for someone, you'll soon come to realize that they weren't that any significant or even come any close to special after all. They're just another human being. They're normal. You will understand that, whatever happens after this, is just another human that is sent by Him to either make you a better person or break you into one. You never lose. Sure, be skeptical as you want and say you lost the love of your life and rant about it. If it helps you to soothe the pain, to cushion it, to soften that cold hard heart of yours, do as you wish. Because life goes on. After them, is still another chapter. After them, tomorrow comes another day. You either suck it up and bear most of the pain or you let go and bear none of it.

They still will live on through life as if nothing had happened. Because to them, you either meant nothing to be worth to remember or they are just scums of the Earth to be that cruel. "Hurt people, hurt people". You might think that you are missing that future that you had dreamt of with that person. But do they think of it too? Highly unlikely. The reason we think of a person we once loved to come back to us is highly influenced by how the movies and media displayed to us. How they depict breakups with such hope, with such high standards that we thought to ourselves, "hey, maybe me and *enter your ex's name here* could fix things"

No. Definitely no. Save yourself the shame and have some dignity. You don't want the person, you want the good times you had with them. Loving a person unconditionally doesn't mean they (or you) can treat them with your shitty attitude. Trust me, I've done and played both roles. I am not any proud of it but here we are. So no, you don't deserve them (if you are the shitty partner) and they don't deserve you (if they are the shitty partner) the best thing you can do is take some time off. Heal. Be a better person for you. Impress yourself with the achievements you, and I emphasize on "YOU". What you would want to, need to achieve. Because in the end of the day, after they left, there's only you.