this time i'll get better

chapter 37: bud

You were my beach buddy. You would always take me to the beach and we would just sit there and watch the sun set. I mean, it would be a lie if I said that there were no feelings involved right? Perhaps it's just me but I think you would have felt something too. With the awkward stares and synchronized giggles. How I would rant to you about the most obvious things that I shouldn't be doing and how you would say that I'm pretty dumb for a "genius". We would laugh about anything that we could talk about. But we never did really addressed that didn't we? I mean, we know that we're both two people who obviously had feelings for each other but didn't tried to make things work because life was better that way. It wasn't vague, it was clear as day. How we talked, joked, met. It was clear. To me, at least. It was very clear. I had feelings for you. And I didn't know exactly whether you were just being nice or being oblivious about it. I think both of us know that the both of us, as individuals, are good. Just not as well as being partners. We weren't really fixing each other but we kept each other company. I was there during the day, and you were there for me in the night. I was getting familiar with you up until I realized I wasn't that much of a good person. Well it wouldn't matter now because you had found your new beach buddy. And I'm glad. Like all the other lost cause I've been with, I'm glad that you found someone.