this time i'll get better

chapter 18: how they see

"I thought you guys were a thing?"

"How?"

"The way you looked at each other. You and her would keep eye contact all the time. Every time cringe things happens, you guys would glance at each other. The way the two of you joke with one another. How your similarities fill out each other's. How you would do things that only friends who are "more than friends" would do."

"I thought it was a nice thing to do. I mean, I do care for her. But up until that. Just that. We talked about it too. And I came clean that I did all that platonically. I asked her if she ever thought of it was me trying to flirt or whatever. She said no."

"Really? No? Well, such a shame. But I bet there must be at least some sort of spark or connection that you guys have, no?"

"Pretty sure that is just an assumption. We do not have some sort of spiritual connection. We laugh just for kicks and I feel comfortable maintaining eye contact with her."

"I am your only friend and you talk to me while your eyes wander away. Do not give me that "I feel comfortable" crap."

"I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm a bigot. But maintaining eye contact with you, especially, feels gay. No offense though."

"None taken."

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"I think he likes you. I can tell."

"How?"

"He is not the talkative person, he doesn't really open up, he for sure doesn't run out in the middle of the day just to see you off. So get a hint and notice how he is giving out this "golden retriever" energy."

"That deduction is really rough. He does talk a lot when he gets comfortable. And he only saw me off because he was near."

"So you would know if he is comfortable? Near? People don't go out their way to "see" people off just because they are near. And yes, I will defend my point about how he likes you but you two are just too oblivious to see."

"Then you're just assuming the best case scenario. I don't think that he likes me. He said once, we both live in two different ways. Pretty sure, that is a warning sign that he doesn't have any other intentions."

"He went to see you for 3 days straight when you were in his town? He asked you out? He met your parents as if he wasn't an introvert? You said he updates to you daily. You guys have these weird movie dates where he somehow knows every slasher. For a person who isn't short sighted, you do have a bad eyesight to notice that. You know how people see differently when you two are with each other. You glow differently and he doesn't look like a dead possum. Everyone could tell that his actions were more than just a friend."

"That's just how he is. To expect more feels wrong. And I don't want to ruin a nice coincidence."

"For now it feels nice but until when? For how long you both can hide your feelings? You should ask him. For what's worth."

"For what's worth."