this time i'll get better

chapter 20: wednesday

"the movies are half price on Wednesday."

that's quite funny how the movies are still half price on Wednesday's and I am half the man I used to be now. We would watch any kind of movie just to have movies on Wednesday. Just so that I could spend time with you. And now I go to the movies on Wednesday just to kill the time.

"we can watch movie while we sit at the coffee shop."

yeah, I still pass by that coffee shop. Sometimes I see the two of us watching "Pulang". My eyes are already watering and you're looking at me with your dreamy eyes. How after that movie ended, I said that I would bring you anywhere in the world. And now, the world is mine, just not ours.

"can you sing "Sweater Weather" until I sleep?"

i did that. I sang my heart out. And when I get to the ending of the song, you with your sleepy voice asked for one more. I would sing again and wished that you were next to me. But now I just sing the song to put myself to sleep.

"you go work hard, so that when I say I want this or that, you can treat me then."

i done work countless jobs. Got me so many things. Got my dream shoes, got my collectable clothes and done my braces. Such a shame, even if after all these things that I bought myself, I still feel empty. Maybe because the promise that I would treat you once again left undone.

But now, with all the things that has been said and done, I realize that how valuable you are even after you left. How you shaped me into being person. A whole person. Someone who craves companionship but is unfazed with the loneliness. Like a stray, a traveler, searching for my final destination. Delusional and desperate as I may be, I still believe that life is peaceful as it was with you. But life is better now that you aren't. Not just mine, yours too. I see it through your posts that I have seen. Now and then, I do look for you anywhere that I can, just to make sure that you're fine. And until then, the movie's are still half priced on Wednesday's.