The lucky one, Conrad Fisher

025. I WANT YOU, BUT NOT NOW, NOT LIKE THIS

Chapter twenty five

"I want you, but now now, not like this."

Having made it back home, everyone was dealing with the news, where Hannah was outside crying in her moms arms, while the boys were inside with their mother, while Belly was upstairs in her room with her mom "mom, I..I know why she wanted me dressed like this but I..I can't. Give her what she wants. I can't be with him. Not now. I can't. I can't." Hannah shared, sobbing "shh. Shh. She knows. She knows, baby." her mom told her "and..and Jeremiah got so angry. And..and he punched him and I didn't know what else to do!" Hannah voiced, crying, her mom started to cry "I know. I'm not gonna tell you it's gonna be okay because it's not. It's never gonna be okay. Not for a long time.' she shared, kissing her on the top of the head.

And as she did, the door to the patio opened, as her mom turned her head, she saw Jeremiah and Conrad, she shook her head, no, knowing the last thing her daughter needed right now was them, as Conrad turned around walking back inside and as he did, he found his mom in the kitchen "mom.." he told her, and as he did, his mom turned to him "Hannah.." Conrad told her, and as he did, his mom smiled, walking past him and out toward's the patio, she passed Jeremiah "my lucky girl." she told her, and when Hannah heard her voice, she started crying even more.

Susannah came over and sat next to her, pulling her into her arms, she began wiping her tears away "dry those tears. We've got a portrait to paint of you and I will not make it look like Jeremiah's where if you keep crying it will make me cry and it will look awful." she shared, and as she did, Hannah started laughing.

Where Susannah had then brought her down to the dock, where Hannah was sitting down and facing her, where under the lights that hung up, along with the moonlight, this picture was different then all the rest, and that was the point, she made her look like a beautiful bride, knowing she wanted to remember her like this along with all the other moments because this one, was one she wasn't gonna get to see with her own eyes "you know, you may think this is goodbye but I told the boys that I'd do the treatment. she shared.

And as she did, Hannah raised her brows "what?" she asked her, as Susannah smiled "you heard me. And I already know who is gonna be by my side through all of it and who I want with me most when I go. And that's you." she shared, as she got done with her portrait, Hannah started crying again, and as she did, so did Susannah "and that is exactly why I waited to tell you when I was done." she told her, putting down her paint brush, she took off her apron, and stood up, walking over to her, she pulled her into her arms, putting her feet onto her lap.

"No matter what happens with you and Connie, you've always been like a daughter to me, you understand that?" she asked her and when she did, Hannah nodded "yeah?" Susannah asked her, her voice breaking, she wiped her tears away "but Connie loves you so much and I know you love him just as much. But when I go, and I will. You two will hurt and you'll think you have nobody or that I was all you need. But one day your both gonna wake up and realize not that you just need each other, or that you want each other. But that your lucky to have each other. Because unliked what you two think right now, your the lucky ones." she told her, as Hannah leaned her head against her's.

Susannah was then carrying Hannah's portrait as the two walked into the house and into the living room, Susannah put her's in the empty space in the middle, as she stepped back, there was Steven's to the left with him wearing a dress shirt with his hands crossed, then Jeremiah's, in which Hannah pointed to it "that looks so much better then the one you made when you were high." she shared, as Susannah furrowed her brows "you think so?" she asked, putting her arm around her, as the two of them laughed, then there was Belly's where she was wearing a deb ball dress that wasn't even the one she ended up wearing.

Then Hannah's where she looked like a perfect bride under the moonlight and the lanterns, with her white dress and veil, and then to the right of her's was Conrad, wearing a sweatshirt and having his hands in his pockets because his was done first during one of the toughest summers.

As Laurel and Brooke then walked in "what are you two doing, it's time to eat?" Laurel asked, as Hannah and Susannah turned to them, the two then saw Hannah's portrait "it looks amazing. All of them do." Brooke shared, and as she did, Steven, Jeremiah, Conrad and Belly all came running in, where they all then looked at all the painting's, especially Hannah's where she looked the same in that as she did, standing in front of them now.

"Well I'm starving." Susannah shared "so am I." Hannah said, as the two of them turned walking out and heading to the kitchen to go to the dining room, the others followed them, as they all found their spots at the dinner table, everyone began handing Susannah and Hannah food seeing as they were the only one's who didn't make their plates yet, where Conrad looked across the way at Hannah, seeing the tear stains on her cheeks and how her eyes were bloodshot from how much she had been crying, and he knew at this moment just like at the dance that this wasn't goodbye.

Standing on the beach the next morning, Hannah still had her dress on along with her vail, as it blew in the wind, Conrad stood next to her with his suit still on "i can't believe she said yes." Conrad told her "don't..don't be too happy about that Conrad, my dad tried to do the same thing with her and she..she shared with him how painful treatment is. It's not as easy as your making it out to be." Hannah shared "she tried to tell us that but Jere..Jere's the one who really did it.' Conrad shared.

As Hannah scoffed "I can't believe he punched you and then took you to the floor in front of everyone." she shared, looking down, she chuckled, looking to him "it's ironic seeing as he told me he was gonna punch you for making me cry so I guess in a way he did.." she shared "Hannah, I'm sorry for being shitty all summer." Conrad told her "and I thought I told you to stop apologizing." Hannah told him, as she turned walking back towards the house.

Conrad followed her "I thought you knowing what I knew would make it easier to go through it but it didn't. It made it worse. Because you and me are hurting so much right now that we're destroying each other." he shared, as Hannah stopped turning to him "then what do you want Conrad?" she asked him "I want you. But not now, not like this." Conrad told her, as he shook his head "then let me go. If we're meant to be, we'll find our way back to each other." Hannah shared, as she turned, walking away.