Y/n Evans || The Girl Who Lost it All || regulus black x y/n

42

Tw: panic attack, attempted sui*de

y/n woke up and looked in the mirror. Her hair was h/c, her eyes were not as vibrant as she usually made them. She sighed, closed her eyes, and tried to fix herself.

It didn't work.

"What's wrong with me?" she broke down into tears.

Her breaths became uneven, as thousands of thoughts about herself filled her mind. She bagan hyperventilating, her breaths short and fast.

She felt her lungs close up as she began struggling to breathe. Clawing at her throat her eyes filled with fear as she began feeling light headed and her chest hurt.

She tried to breathe but could only manage to let out helpless gasps, her eyes slowly began to close and she could only associate the feeling with that of drowning.

She tried hard to keep her eyes open, fearing what would come if she allowed herself to succumb to the feeling.

Her mind realed.

I'm about to suffocate and die.

She began losing the battle.

That would be just fine. To be put out of my misery.

She slowly layed down, the cold floor feeling like a saviour on her head.

She slowly brought her hand up to her throat and squeezed.

I could choke myself to sleep.

She squeezed harder, trying to speed up the process.

What brought her back? Taps.

Small taps on the window.

She looked over. At her window sat a blue jay. It looked at her and held eye contact. She removed her hands from her throat and felt herself breathing in a decent sized breath.

After a few seconds her breathing was back to normal and she quickly whipped her tears and walked over to the window, opening it and stroking the bird.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." she sobbed.

The bird, as if it understood, nodded then flew off.

She walked over to her bed and curled up in her blankets, falling to sleep instantly.

~~~

Fearlessness and protection. That's what blue jays symbolised.

She had woken a day later and decided that the best way to not try and kill herself was to distract herself. So she began researching blue jays.

She spent the day in flourish and blotts. Keeping herself around people in case the unknown incident of yesterday happened again.

She didn't know what had happened but she didn't want to experience it again.

At the end of the day she went back to her room and bagan packing up her stuff into her hogwarts trunk. It was a week left of summer and she was eager to leave the place. 

a/n hii, so i jst wanted to say that i myself have never experienced something like this but if you have i will listen if you need to talk. im not sure if i discribed it correctly so idk. 

also. the blue jay thing is tru, i did a lil bit of research.

also also, i was listening to the song whilst writing sooo