Y/n Evans || The Girl Who Lost it All || regulus black x y/n

46

TW: mentions of self harm.

y/n stood outside the great hall, waiting for jesper. After about five minutes he sprinted up to her, hair messy and lips swollen and red.

She raised a brow, "hanging out with dwane?"

He grinned, "oh yah, just some quality bonding time."

"Yah, uhuh, sure." she laughed, "let's get going, lover boy."

She started off in the direction they were to patrol.

"So," he started, "why have you suddenly ditched your friends?"

"Uh, shit happens. Pretty sure evana and narcissa hate me, i know regulus does and im pissed with evan and barty."

"Oh? What happened? I love drama. It feeds my soul."

"I royaly fucked up. I can't even pinpoint when things went south. It just went to shit and-" she broke off, looking at the floor a few feet away from them.

"Sirius, remus, peter. I can see your feet."

"Shit."

"Told you we needed to engorgio it to fit."

They pulled an invisibility cloak off and looked at her sheepishly.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor, each. Go back to your dorm. Remus, aren't you supposed to be patrolling right now?"

"Oh fuck, i forgot." he ran off down the hall mutterng a few mor curse words.

"Swearwolf" sirius mitered, grinning.

"Dorms. Now."

They saluted asnd ran off.

"You know, if i were straight, id fuck you."

"What?" she whipped around to look at jesper

"I mean, you are obviously very dominant. Id fuck you if i were straight."

"Oh god."

"What?" he laughed, "you're saying that you don't like being in charge in bed?"

"Okay, I'm done talking about this."

She laughed and they continued walking. He however wasn't done. "Oh you're a virgin aren't you! Don't worry I am too. No need to be shy."

"Im. uhm, I'm not."

"What?"

"I'm not a virgin. And it wasn't my choice."

He watched her, face full of shock as they continued on.

"How old?"

"13."

The rest of the patrol was silent. It wasn't uncomfortable, but definitely not a good silence.

~~~

Two days later the quidditch team was on the board and evan came running up to her.

"Say hello to your new beater." he grinned.

"Nice."

His smile went away and he grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"Why are you still mad? We apologised, and we did it for you anyways."

"No! No, you did not apologise! And that's not even what I care about! The fact that you say you did it for me is what I'm pissed about! You ruined your fucking life and its my fault! Do you realize how fucked up that is?! I ruined your life. Because of me you will be forced to do shity things for the rest of your life and act like it is ok and for what? So I wasn't alone it it? Well guess what! Now because of this i have this constant voice in my head telling me i'm a piece of shit friends because i dragged you into this! And I know! You made the choice but you did it because of me! Your life is going to shit because of me! And now take all that shitty stuff and fucking double it because barty did the same! And on top of all of that, regulus still thinks i fucking cheated on him and i dont know why and every fiber in my being wants to just pitch myself off the fucking astronamy tower!"

Everyone in the hall around them was staring and Evan stood staring at her in shock. She had tears streaming down her face as she shouted. But she couldn't stop. It was like once she started everything kept coming out and she had no control over it.

"And oh wait, there's more! Im fucking broken damit! I cant change my hair, or my eyes or anything i and dont fucking know why! Notice how fucking pissed I am right now! h/c. Its fucking h/c. Not red! Not any other colour! Im fucking broken! The one thing that has made me me is gone! The one thing that I knew I would have my whole damn life, is gone. I don't know what the hell is going on and its like i dont have control over my own fucking life anymore! And guess what! Things can in fact get worse!" without thinking she pulled her sleeves up, revealing the scars from her silver dagger. The mark didn't show, as she had put a concealment charm on that. But the scars did.

All the yelling had attracted teachers, who were looking at her with shock.

With her luck, lily, james, sirius and remus were also in that halfway. And just turning the corner was evana, narcissa and regulus.

Of course the reason practically the whole school was there was because the hallway they ended up having their confrontation in was right outside the great hall.

"So dont fucking act like everything is fine." she yanked her sleeves down and ran off.

~~~

The next day she was called to Slughorn's office where he introduced her to a woman named Dian, she was a wizarding therapist.

The session was slow, and throughout the whole thing she just wanted to leave. She didn't need some stranger to sit there and act like she knows half of her life.

Finally after an hour, Dian stood up and handed her a rubber band and a sketchbook.

"What's this?"

"The rubberband is for your wrist, whenever you feel like hurting yourself, snap it."

"And the book?" she asked, slipping on the band.

"I want you to draw something small, you can draw multiple things if you wish and we can pick your favourite one. But a month from now, I want you to bring the book back and we're going to go to a wizard tattoo artist. My sister self harmed and during the healing process she got a tattoo over her scars. Something meaningful, something that makes you smile. Hers is a cherry tree with petals falling, it changes with the seasons."

~~~

For those who didnt see the notice here it is:

ONE WEEK NOTICE:

hi, id like to give a warning, i wont be writing or posting over the summer. this is due to the fact that i will be spending my time getting to know my older sister.

i will try to post a chapter for each of the books and they will be as long as possible but in one week i will not be posting or writing.

if i find time to write then i might but the chances are low.

Today was friday, the last of the week so i wont be on mutch.

also, not very long of a chapter but my sister wont be coming over as soon as i thought so i MIGHT wright a little. Anyways, enjoy ur summer!