Veitato: LUST IN THE FORBIDDEN ADVENTURE

142 : Vanity

I kept running without any destination in mind. All I knew was that I needed to get away from the mess I made. I stumbled and fell down on the floor. I was panting really hard but I still managed to stand up and continue running.I turned to check my back to see if anyone was following me and just as I turned back, I fell down and realized I was falling into a pit."NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," I yelled and sprawled up only to see that I was in a car. Shit! I placed my hand on my chest and took a deep breath.That was scary as hell so I just rested my head on the headrest carefully. I couldn't remember much but after the incident that happened yesterday, I grew uneasy. I ran out to throw up and passed out. I looked by my side and realized I was with one of my men."Boss," he called when he turned to me. "are you okay?"I had no idea which response to give because I was sure as hell not okay."You're safe now," he said. "Uh the men—""Where's Antonio? Where are the rest?" I asked the moment I thought of the possibility of—"They're on their way," he said and I exhaled in relief. "The men are on their way."I gave a small nod in response because I didn't know exactly what to say. "I already booked your flight and made all the arrangements. I'll take you to where you'll wash the blood off your body."At the mention of the last word, my heart squeezed. I remembered Luciano and I couldn't stop thinking of it.. of how I murdered him.I didn't mean to kill me. Of course not.. it was never my intention but he would have killed me if I didn't try to defend myself at that point.All the memories of Luciano flashed before my eyes and I could feel the tears welling. I sniffed it back because I couldn't afford to mourn now. I needed to figure a way out of this mess I caused. Although I blame myself for everything including Luciano's death, I couldn't bring myself to not blame my father and Gladys. They betrayed me and that hurt as much as Luciano's death. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to say something but I couldn't. Everything played in my head over and over again and the image of fear in his eyes when I stabbed him kept haunting me.I tried to brush it off but it was all I could think of. "Has.. has my father called?" I managed to ask with everything in me."I called him when we confirmed that Luciano was dead."I'm not sure how that information made me feel but it was nothing close to good. I still felt miserable and like the worst person on earth. "Your father wanted to speak to you," he announced. "He asked to talk to you and—""I am not ready," I blurted and looked away from him.He gave a nod in understanding and I was just glad he got that. I wasn't emotionally and mentally prepared to speak to him yet. There was so much hate in my heart and nothing was going to take that away.I swallowed hard and tried to stop thinking but that was impossible. Totally impossible because it was him... it was Luciano who died and that alone, was killing me inside.I lowered my face to look at my bloodied shirt and I just stared at Luciano's blood. He died struggling and knowing that alone was enough to taunt me for the rest of my life. I tried to hold back all the emotions coursing through me as I looked at his blood. It all happened too fast and I could, I'd rewind the hands of clock.. Time travelling was nothing but a myth so I sat there stuck in my head thinking of how I murdered him. Sadness welled all over me but the scary part was the fact that I knew I'd be miserable without Luciano. It made no sense at all living without him. Who would call me out on my bullshit or remind me of my father?Who would I call and text whenever I feel lonely and like a chicken? He always called me that to trigger me. Even right before he died, he said that and now--- he was never going to say it again.I dreamt of a better life with Luciano but now, it's all a fucking memory because Luciano is dead."I clashed the camera at his house," Damian said. "All of them."I gave him a fake smile and gave a nod in response. "Anytime the cameras get clashed, it takes 15 hours to self-destruct." I shut my eyes at the thought of Luciano's body being blown up.My eyes got so hot and I could feel the heat. I sniffed but that was no longer working in holding back the tears.The tears rolled down my cheeks and I felt my heart squeeze at the thought of him. I allowed the tears but It was a silent cry. I didn't allow Damian know or notice I was crying. "The police arrived in time and took his body, he said. Also, six of our men have been confirmed dead and their bodies taken away too."I didn't respond to that because I had absolutely no idea of what to feel anymore. It would be wrong to not admit how hurt I was but I was trying to get a grip of myself."I already called your father and informed him. He'll be visiting their families and he'll compensate them."It didn't sound right to me but I wasn't in a good state of mind to even know what was wrong and right to them. "Vanity," I muttered under my breath. I sighed and then shut my eyes.