Naruto One Shots

Asuma - Falling 💕

Word Count - 2057

I wonder down the streets of Konoha with no destination in mind. I just let my feet lead the way. It was the middle of the night and not a sound could be heard but the hum of the bugs wondering the night like I was. I was tired of pacing the floors of my apartments. I needed space. I needed air. I didn't care that it was past midnight. I wanted out of the walls that felt like they were crushing down on me. My chest felt tight even with the chill air. I kept walking. Destined to get ride of this feeling.

It wasn't right. I had to get over it. I rejected him. It was my fault that he found his way into the arms of another women. One that was better for him. I would be nothing in comparison. Even thought my heart yearned for him and I was desperately falling for him more and more with every breath. I had to convince myself other wise. But every thought was of him. Hence why I paced my floorboards almost creating a beaten path in the wood and found myself walking aimlessly through the streets of the village.

All I could think about was walking because when I was still I felt the absence of his presence more. When I laid in my bed I noticed he wasn't there and my thoughts went back to how it was my fault.

I tried to drink the pain away but I missed the smell of the cigarette he smoked after every drink. Everything revolved around him and I could not get him out of my mind. I didn't know what to do at this point. I just kept walking.

My body instinctually made its way to his apartment. I stood on the opposite side of the street that the complex resided on. My eyes traveled to the window. The light was on. Probably some late night love making. I shook my head and walked the other direction. Not the one I came from but farther and farther away from everything.

I wanted to knock on his door. Tell him to forget what I said. That it wasn't what I meant. But I couldn't. Who was I to try to grovel at his feet? Not when he moved on. When he had someone else.

And what was I? Nothing but desperate. Falling for a man I turned away. What if he no longer wanted me. No longer wanted me around. I wouldn't blame him. With all the baggage I brought I was surprised he wanted me in the first place. My ego was too high to let him in but now I was desperate that I hadn't allowed him to invade my space deeper.

Asuma and I had always been friends growing up. I was a couple years younger than him but when I discovered that I also had wind chakra we began closer. We trained together to learn how to control our similar chakra nature. He had always been my best friend. The number one person I went to. He knew me better than anyone but before every opportunity I had to admit it, I pushed him further away. Even when our relationship took a more mature stance as we got older. I contained to push him away in different ways. I found every way to push him towards the exit. As many times as I tried I also begged him to come back.

But the last time had been enough for him. He admitted he loved me and I shut him down. Faster than I could think. It was a natural knee jerk reaction. And I regretted every word I had spoken to him. Yet my ego once again wouldn't allow me to show him this weakness in me. Weakness to be purposeful vulnerable in front of him. As desperately as I wanted him I knew I couldn't give my heart to him.

I had no reason to hesitate. He was perfect. He had stood by my side through every up and down I went through in my life. Every loss and every gain. Yet I still hesitate. That hesitation led him to another girl. Someone who was perfect for him. Allowed herself to be open with him. That could never be me. But yet I continued to fall for him in the presence he left.

My feet lead me to probably the only corner store open at this hour. I figured it was my bodies was of looking for an escape. I made my way down the liquor aisle. Scamming up and down for anything that grabbed my attention. I finally decided on a bottle of red wine. Red wine always made me sleepy after a couple glasses and that was exactly what I needed at this hour. I returned to the front desk. My eyes scanned the cigarette behind the employee. Remembering the smell of his smoke after we drank. I wanted that smell again. Desperate to smell it again I asked for a pack of his favorite.