That's what I thought, after reading his message. Everything I had thought of him before wasn't real. I made up an idea that only existed in my head.
I glorified him.
Remembering now, I'd say he was cute when mad. Or stupid things like that. I was blinded by my feelings.
I was in denial the entire time. Because I would observe him. How he acted at his sister party. How he acted in the car. The songs he'd play. The words he'd say. The jokes he'd make. The times he made me uncomfortable when texting. The feeling of anxiety he'd give me for apparently no reason at all.
Deep inside I didn't feel safe with him... and I thought it was in my head. I thought that the insecurity was just mine.
But some people can make you feel a certain way. You can feel it. Not with your feelings but in your gut. In your insides.
I learned to trust my gut instincts and not my feelings...
