I finished watching a movie and it got me sentimental, about today. About last week. About my whole life, really.
How do people who barely know me, figure me out, so fast?
My classmate knew I had fears.
Virna knew of my insecurity. She asked if I'm insecure of myself. I said yes.
She said everyone has a weak spot and that is mine... but it has a fix.
It's humiliating to admit but yes. I'm not a confident person. Being confident is not my strong suit. I struggle to stand up for myself.
Don't feel sorry for me though.
There's times I do. Those times are when I defend Jehovah. I don't care so much of my pride, even though sometimes I do, I'm not as important.
...
I know I have fears. I know my weaknesses.
It's hard when people point them out.
It's hard when you yourself realize it, as you're messing up, you're aware that you are an anxious person, but you can't stop yourself.
You can only stop after a couple minutes. After a couple breaths...
After crying.
When I fail I cry.
But after letting it out I feel okay.
...
Today I don't feel okay.. It feels as though crying isn't enough. That there are things going on... things I have to do... problems to deal with. That sometimes I just—
