201. How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
202. Watching Netflix before going to bed is the adult equivalent of being read a bedtime story.
203. Note to self: Never make a sarcastic remark to someone who is really angry, unless you’re prepared to run like hell.
204. I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
205. Life’s too short to wake up in a bad mood- I save mine until I get to work.
206. Whenever I don’t hear from someone in a while I think, “Oh, shit. They found out.”
207. I don’t know all the state capitals, but I can recite “Dumb and Dumber” word for word.
208. Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
209. I think self checkout was invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.
210. One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you cant say out loud.
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