541. Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
542. Do you ever just wanna grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper, “No one gives a crap”
543. “THIS IS NOT AN ASSIGNMENT YOU CAN DO THE NIGHT BEFORE.” Challenge accepted.
544. I’d swim across the Ocean for you. Lol, Just kidding. There’s sharks in there.
545. I don’t need to walk a mile in your shoes. I can see you’re a train wreck from all the way over here.
546. I wonder how many Dads name their boy’s Luke just so they can tell him, “Luke, I am your father.”
547. Take photos of friends with their face squished against glass. Assign to your phone contacts; it’ll look like they’re trapped inside your phone!
548. Sometimes I think Facebook is trying to insult me by some of its friend suggestions.
549. That awkward moment when you don’t know what to do with your life when you leave the computer, so you just get back on.
550. That awkward moment when you’re not sure if your phone isn’t sending texts, or if all your friends are ignoring you.
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Hilarious Facebook Statuses :)
HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
