231. The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.
232. I’d really like to find the person that named the sensitive part of your elbow the “Funny Bone” and punch them in the face. See how funny they think that is.
233. Time for three Rs, refrigerator, recliner and remote!!!!!
234. “I faked all my LOLs.” -A Facebook romance comes to a dramatic end.
235. There’s got to be a better way to start the day than by getting up in the morning…
236. If it weren’t for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
237. If I were you, I’d get a red nose and some big shoes and call it a day.
238. Remember that Ex that we all thought we’d never get over? LOL
239. The White Stripes and The Black Keys should form a band and call it Pianos.
240. Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
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